A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been working at a restaurant for about six months and my boss has been flirting with me. To begin with i just thought that it was friendly flirting but last month he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers, everyone starting talking and since then different things have happened. He asked me if i was pregnent and the head waiter overheard and asked me if i was, i said no and they said "its not his business anyway is it... its not is it?" even managment are suspicious, ive got lifts with him and the other day he put his hands round my waist whilst at the bar! I never thought of him as anything more than my boss but now im getting all these feelings for him, hes an amazing guy. But he's married with two kids. I really like him but i don't know if i should go for it, his marriage is on the rocks but i don't know. Does it sound as though its just friendship or is it more? Should i go for it? Id really appreciate help, Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): unlike the other answers i say think of yourself and your happiness first, his wife and kids are nothing to do with you and you should not spare a thought for them but if you truely know in your heart he wants and loves you and will definately leave his wife for you then go for it!
A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (11 April 2007):
 We told you so!
You have people talking about you, the poo has hit the fan and you're wondering why this has happened to you?
You haven't fallen in love with him you dozy mare, you're just getting a kick from stirring the crap pot!
Grow up, move on and get another job, you're going to have to anyway!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): You are not in love with him, you are infatuated with the attention you are getting from an older man with some power. If you were in love with him you would be willing to let him live his life happily with his wife and children.....if you really cared about him and his happiness.
He is looking at you how he looks at you, if it makes you want to kiss him that is your fantasy going on in YOUR head.
Hate to tell you I told you so, but you did not listen to any of the advice given, so what should you do? Re-read what people have told you, find a new job, get yourself clear from him and his wife....you will be fired soon anyway, because she will make him do that....you are in a steaming pile of poo, and you willing walked into it.
Why is it not fair? It takes two to tango, you could have had the maturity to take his attention with a grain of salt, your boss may not have been jealous of you kissing another guy at a staff party, but thought your behavior was unbecoming at a work function, and decided you all were too drunk and inappropriate to stay any longer.
You need to grow up....seriously, Stop pretending that work is a playground for finding a man, it isn't, it is work, it is a job, and you need to learn to respect that it is a privledge, not a guarantee of anything, including finding a love relationship there.....it is not wise to date your boss, doubly so if he is married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts a nightmare we got closer i was in his office for chats for an hour just having a laugh. people got the wrong idea and told his wife. she gave him an ultimatum and hasnt spoken to me for nearly a week. we had a staff party and i kissed this guy and my boss got really jealous and got someone to stop it. then suddenly they chucked us all out and ive foundout now that my boss and his mrs were having a fight and she was crying and apparently he walked off, the next day he came in earky and he was waiting for his wife? everytime i see him he looks at me in this way that just makes me want to kiss him. the truth is ive fallen in love with him and now hes keeping his distance, its not fair he shouldnt have started it. im so confused about what to do! HELP?!?
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (12 March 2007):
Umm, I hate to burst a few bubbles here, but she is reciprocating the flirting, this isn't sexual harrassment we are dealing with here, and in the UK, the legal age of consent is 16.I still stand by my no, no, no, no, NO! because messing a round with a married man who throws you the "my marriage is on the rocks line" is asking for trouble, and will cause so much more unnecessary hurt for his wife and children as well as you!Oh, and to let you know, due to a really stressful shift, one of the waiters decided to walk around BOH in nothing but his apron! What fun!
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I agree with every one else here!! NO NO NO NO!!!! because not only would this lead to distater it would only hurt his kids and his wife!!!!!! dont be stupid!!!! hes your boss you do anything like this and rumors with spread! and also like the other said you should report this bastard with sexual harssment! I know you think its flatering but its a horrible idea think about what you would be doing to his children and wifethis guy is an idiot that you should watch out for I hope this helps xoxo =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): Hey girl, if you haven't read "Ponungalungb's" response to your question, I suggest you do so IMMEDIATELY!!!!! I don't think it could be summed up or said any better than that!!!
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (7 March 2007):
He is guilty of sexual harrassment.
Never go out with a married man, and never go out with your boss.
If you can, I would look for another job and another restaurant, and once you have secured a position, I would go to your boss and let him know that his behaviour is illegal and ask him for compensation in exchange for you not taking the matter further.
This way, you may protect some other girl in the future from being the subject of similar unacceptable behaviour.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (7 March 2007):
 The other Aunts have summed this one up good for you and i hope you have taken what they have said on board.
It is a definate No No, and can only lead to disaster, steer well clear.
Good luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): I agree with everyone here...don't be dumb, this guy is playing you, he is married, saying his marriage is on the rocks is as old as the hills, this is not the first time he has tried this nor would this be his first affair, no wonder his marriage is on the rocks.
Don't even be flattered by the attention, he will turn out to be a jerk once he beds you....
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 This guy is so out of line I don't know where to start.
NO! You shouldn't go for it. NO! Because he is your boss. NO! Because he IS married. NO! Because you are under 18.
NO! Because he has children. NO! NO! NO!
YES! You should go the management and tell them what he is trying to pull over on you. YES! You should tell him to keep his hands off of you. YES! You should look for another job. YES! You should seek legal advice regarding sexual harassment.
I hope I made myself clear.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (7 March 2007):
 Be strong and don't even go there!!!
He is married with kids, two major complications. If the marriage is on the rocks, wait until he is available for anything to even be comtemplated.
Did he give you a reason for giving you flowers, Are you sure it was not just a nice gesture to cheer you up just in case you are pregnant? Even though it may seem odd.
How you react now is very important in terms of how much respect you will get from your boss and fellow colleagues. So do not be tempted to do anything you may later regret. In a few months time, you do not want to be in a position of looking for another job.
Be careful and find someone who is single and can make you his number One. Only one for that matter.
Angel of Love
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (7 March 2007):
No, No, No , No, NO!
Anyway, I work in a very busy restaurant part time, and flirting is rife! but no one ever acts on it, as in office relationships, when things go tits up, it gets very messy! Restaurants are very stressful environments to work in, if you're not having a bit of friendly banter, people will think you are not keeping in the team spirit. Flirting does break the tedium, admit it.
Also, have a read through all the posts about women getting involved with married men - it should put you right off!
Enjoy the friendly flirting, but don't make a move, that would really give your colleagues something to talk about, and, trust me, they won't talk about it in a good way!
Good luck!
Nutty xxx
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