A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey all.Just wanted an outlet I suppose.Bit of background... My husband and I have been together 10 years and have 2 children. We are having dramas with his sister. She's very domaninating - does whatever she pleases. We've had conflict with her before over our children along with his mother. Well I said it all lol. Sister inlaw was calling grandmas spare room ------'s room (her eldest daughters name) meanwhile we have grandchildren too, the sister would tell us in front on my daughter that her daughter is in charge, she is the eldest, and throws in not including ----- because he's not blood. Our daughter would have a planned playdate for her own special time with her grandparents and then sister inlaw would turn up with her 3 taking her special time away - she is there all the time. And 90% of sister inlaws conversation is bitching about the family behind their backs ALL THE TIME. She plays on with her mum, "I want to be the favourite Aunty" and uses this fake voice in front of her with my kids. And the last 3 years sister inlaw - this is what's really got up my goat - has had Christmas at their house stuffing the rest of the family, my mother inlaw LOVES Christmas and then she has to do her dirty work.I've always thought myself close with my mother in law, especially more so the last few years I drop in once a week for a visit with her grandson and we have a good chat and she's just like me, wouldn't say a bad Word about anyone.She is now gravely ill and we are not sure how long she has got, I feel like it's in a way my own mum too, I've learnt so much from her over the years and the complete opposite to my mum. Anyways. Husbands other sister was messaging me asking what's happening for fathers day and combined their mothers birthday. I said I wasn't sure, and to ask the other sister as she might know options here if you want a place but we're happy to do whatever everyone wants. The next day I talk with mother inlaw and she's surprised other sister hasn't told us where it's at, what to bring etc, everyone else knows, I left it for a bit till that night. I rang upset and said long as we aren't left out of the loop and chatted after said we'd give each other a big hug. The day was busy I just helped out as mother in law couldn't do anything and no one was doing much at the time. Later their family do died (I know this sounds petty) but her kids never played with him and our kids wouldn't leave him alone and adore him, straight away Sister in law gets her eldest to get in make a stone pile of rocks and flowers - I was really sad my daughter wasn't included she was devestated. Christmas has always been tradition at his mums except for his sister not going and staying at home - one of the years we went there for Christmas day - Mother in law asked not her via ph. Now the sisters jumped in and claimed Christmas to be at her house - her mothers last Christmas. It's really annoyed me, considering she just decides and claims puts it on her mum, there are other members in the family, and traditionally it has been at grandmas house. I did say to mother in law, you don't want it to be in your own home, it doesn't feel the same at ---- house. My husband whole heartily agrees, he knows what she is like with bitching etc and has said after this we we have our own at home. I messaged family for my birthday dinner and got no reply from sister in law and other sister in law(by marriage not husbands sister) i spoke to her about not wanting to be left out with everything - and she has been disgusted over the years with other sister over Christmas. Anyways no reply then they turn up to dinner I said I wasn't sure whether you were coming or not they made a big deal yeah we were messaging each other about it, not really wanting to. Made a back handed comment about my shoes I wore too. Then mother in law organises a special sleepover for my daughter, spend some time with grandma, then the whole time that sister and law and her kids were there at the beach, Mother in law invited me last minute and no mention she would be there. Anyways wanted to vent. I even added sister in law on Facebook months ago but she won't add me but will others. I don't get it.I never go around slagging family off like she continually does, I've always thought the world of his family. Just really sad now husband and I are just going to distance ourselves, he's even said he's not going to go to her bday and now I feel like not replying and taking part in her crap. I'm not going to say a word about anything anymore. Just angry and sad she's going to take over everything to do with my husbands mother
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): just learn to relax and let go and spend your emotional energies on more important matters than whose house the christmas dinner is going to be at.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Some fractures never heal... No matter how hard we try and patch and stick a band aid over it the healing process never quite works . How am I'm so certain.. I've been there and bought the tshirt.
Life is to short to keep banging your head of brick wall. What's important is your family unit and your husbands mum.. Distance yourself from your sister in laws tell them you've had enough of their antics. I would let my hubby do it.
Then let them get on with it.. Instead of going to grans on Christmas Day have that it home with your family unit, and go Boxing Day when it's quieter and the kids have time with grandma ..
For myself in a similar position I just hope I can pass wisdom onto my unit so that they do not fracture as they grow older...
Take care and I hope this helps
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