A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey,i'll try to keep this as brief as possible so i'm sorry if i go on a little bit. ^^'i'm 16 and i work as a secretary come assistant come general dogs body for my boss. we get along great, he treats me with respect and like a friend, which is ideal (the pay is crap so i need as many bonuses as i can get haha)anyway, he's recently broken up with his 2 year girlfriend and since then he's been treating me differently. he's been giving me gifts(nothing major, just a couple of books and some clothes, just t-shirts and jackets) and has been alot more open with me (making more sexual jokes, telling me more about his life that sort of thing) inviting me out with him to lunch and just for a walk in the morning.i didn't think anything of it at first but when i thought about it i noticed how differently he treats me.do you think he wants it to go further? and what could i do to make sure the relationship we have stays as it is?please help as i don't want a good thing to be ruined because he's on the rebound (while his brains sit in his balls, great guy besides though)thanks in advanceanon xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, and i definately notice the running theme!
as far as the changing job goes, i can't. it pays terribly because it covers my training there, and the experience is invaluable. everywhere else i have to pay alot of money for it.
the walks are usually for convenience (we take the same route to work on a morning, and it's nice to have someone to talk to)
i know it sounds like i'm making excuses for him and i probably am, but i feel like i should of explained some of the things better.
i will stop the lunches and accepting the gifts (that was a little uncomfortable anyway, i just accepted them to be polite)
thanks again for the advice
anon xx
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Keep your relationship as professional as possible. Draw certain limits and make it very clear that while I'm friendly, yo cannot go beyond a certain point. No gifts,no lunches,no cheap jokes, no walks,no outings.
Tell him politely and very clearly that you would rather not receive any more gifts from him because it makes you uncomfortable. No need to feel bad saying it, you're not saying anything wrong! Politely decline the lunch offers and refuse to go for the walks. He will get the hint for sure. And henceforth, nip it in the bud.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (31 July 2011):
 Stop accepting any more gifts. Don't be rude, but decline any activity that is not work related, for eg, the lunches and walks. It might even be a good idea if you could look for another job, because it could get a bit uncomfortable for you. Politely point out that you just wish to keep things on a professional level. This is a tricky situation for you. Hopefully he get a new girlfriend soon. But seriously, be careful, and I would look for another job.
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