A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my hubby has a lot of problems such as pstd,bipolar,aniexty,ocd... anyway he has had counseling for 2 years but not enough. and i been married for 5 years. he has hurt me, mentally,verbal abused me i want to know how much longer i should give him chances for. i have 2 kids involved, 4 year old girl and 2 year old boy he has threaten me so many times that he was gonna divorce me. hasn't happened he has thrown the ring in the air couple times. so many has gone on he went hospital 3 times for help, and he went jail overnight 1 time. for pushing me. we owe alot of bills i am afraid he leaves me stranded with all the bills
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): Never tolerate abuse. Get out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): what you need to do is put a proposition to him, i myself have bi-polar and know just how destructive we can be to ourselves and our loved ones, if he really loves you enough he should stop using his bi-polar as an excuse and really work on see his counseling sessions seeing a phyciatrist and be honest with them and take his medications properly, bi polar can be a destructive illness but can the destructiveness can be taken out other ways which would help relieve his anxiety build up too, honey he might have an illness but you dont have to suffer either my suggestion is either he gets help or yo leave, your life is just as important aswell, really do you want the kids being brought up in that lifestyle, i didnt why my exhusband is bring up my children all he is doing is being selfish
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): You shouldn't tolerate it at all! Especially with little children envolved! If he is going to counseling on a regular basis, it doesn't necessarilly mean he is being honest with his therapist. If the abuse is continuing after two years of therapy, something is wrong. By now he would think before being or saying abusive things! Abuse always gets worse! It escalates from verbal and emotional to physical.
I have over 16 years of experience with an abusive, bi-polar, drug addicted spouse. Fortunately, we didn't have children together, but he was also abusive to his teenage son who lived with us for a while. I stayed because I was foolish...I believed that love could conquer anything, I was wrong.
I finally left 2 years ago. Out on the road in a strange city, I decided I had had enough! I had left him a number of times before, but this time was different...I knew in my heart he would kill me if I stayed! I left the vehicle we were in. I refused to get back in. And he took off, came back to give me one more chance to get in...I refused. He left, and didn't come back! I had no money, a small duffle bag of clothing, and my cell phone. Fortunately, I had family willing to help me with a bus ticket to get back to my home state. Upon arriving, I had to figure out how I was going to put my life back together. I was lucky to get my job back...and my mobile home, which we had sold to finance just one of his hair brain money making plans. I had no vehicle (he convince me to sell that too) but I was happy to take the bus and be alive! I filed banckruptcy because he left me responsible for all the bills. I eventually got a vehicle, and I now cherish my aloneness! I value my home, my meager material possessions, and most of all my life! I have worked through the emotional scars (with help from groups) and have learned so much from my past. I wish I would've gotten out sooner, but I also realize that what I went through has made me who I am today!
Don't let financial concerns keep you in an abusive relationship! Where would your kids be if thier mother was dead and their father in prison? There are organizations that will help you get away and stay away from him. They will protect you and your children. They will help you with housing and financial problems.
Woman die everyday at the hands of thier spouses/lovers...don't become a statistic!
At the first sign of violence, find a womens shelter for you and your kids. They will help you heal, and grow! Don't feel that you will be alone for the rest of your life, you won't be! But before you think about another relationship, you need to heal, and learn!
I wish you luck, and protection!
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A
female
reader, cupid77 +, writes (22 February 2009):
 he needs to see a psyciatrist and be put on meds as well as seeing a councelor. just seeing a councelor is not going to work for him. he needs meds to regulate his mood swings and to level out his manic episodes and depression. People with bipolar that are not on meds can't allways help the way that they act. there are alot of things in life that someone that has bipolar can not handle on their own without meds. a simple argument can turn into a huge blown out of proportion screaming match because it triggers something in their brain they can't process like others can. if he refuses meds, leave him because it won't get better. if he takes the meds you can seperate until his meds are regulated which will take a couple months, or stay if it's not bad. thats up to you really. hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (21 February 2009):
 Has he acknowledged he has a problem, and is actively getting help/treatment? If so go to a session with him and talk to his therapist. If he has not, this situation will never get better, and for his own safety he needs reporting to the authorities, abuse must not be tolerated no matter what the excuses are, there is help out there for people.
I would seriously consider leaving him, do you have any family or friends that could put you up for a while.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 February 2009):
If you have come to be sick of him and his behaviour then sell as much stuff as you can to pay off the bills in your name and get out of there.
It's worth having a bad credit rating if it means your children get to be raised in a safe home and don't learn that this is the way that normal relationships should go.
What if your little girl grows up to have a boyfriend who hits her? If she saw you taking this abuse and staying round and putting up with it then she will too.
Leave for their sake.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): hi,
you should talk to him about going to a marriage counselor.
it would help a lot. if it didnt you should leave him. you dont deserve that.
hope this helps.
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