A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now and I love him dearly. When I met him I didn't know how many friends that he has that are girls, with most of them being ex's. I am having a hard time dealing with them hanging around and calling and texting all the time. He says they are just friends, but I am very insecure about it.
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female
reader, fuse +, writes (10 August 2010):
I'm 29 (I'll be 30 in 3wks, yikes) I have been married since the age of 23 and I am still friends with a few of my ex-boyfriends and honestly some are still interested in me and others completely respect my marriage and are happy for me. I'm not going anywhere I love my husband!!!! So if you and your boyfriend are in love he's not going anywhere. Don't be intimidated b/c he loves you!
A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 I'm always wary of people who stay friends with their exes. To me it seems a little off.
However, think about the nature of these friendships. Have you met many of them?
Are they touchy feely with your boyfriend? Do they send him 'sexy texts' or other inappropriate messages? Are they flirtatious with him?
If the answer to those types of questions are mainly yes, then you should probably have a chat to him about his friendships with these exes and any inappropriate behaviour you've picked up. However, if you cannot pick up any clues that the friendships are odd or inappropriate, then you should still raise the issue with him, but in a non-confrontational way. There's nothing wrong with being curious about your partner's past.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 I dont mean to be a negative nancy but I dated that guy and it didnt work. To me ex's are the past and im not interested in being there friend till maybe later on down the road. One thing u could do is get to know these exs to see what theyre about..they might be some very nice girls and are probably just friends. Whatever friends ur bf has are ur friends too right? Bottom line, take more of a positive route than I did, dont let ur insecurities overrule u, talk to these girls u might actually make friends with them.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 This is something that you are going to have to him on. He may have only briefly "dated" each one because that was the way to make new friends of the opposite sex, which I have to add that most of my friends are girls because I don't like always having to be the tough guy. They may truly just be friends although I know you are thinking that he could easily be cheating. Try to trust him because I know you will never trust the other girls and if you can't then he may not be the right one for you.
Hope this helps you out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Because one person still has it for his exes, it doesn't make YOU insecure. You're not insecure; your sonar is going off saying you are with a player.
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