A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I just went to Mexico and decided to hit up one of the local strip joints. He wanted to pay for a lap dance for me in a private room. It began with him just watching to the stripper asking him to join in. While it was hot and heavy, he reached to unzip his pants with her. She said no, and stopped him. However, I can't seem to get the image out of my head. I was hurt and ended the dance entirely. He said it was just the heat of the moment. Should I worry or just chalk it up to just fun?
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male
reader, dayvide  +, writes (19 February 2015):
 I think you deserve better.. Him blaming it on "heat of the moment" is totally crap.. Even with him reaching for his zippers am sure you can visualize what and how far he'll go when you aint there.. Am sure he visits there alone so you decide if that's the kinda person you wanna continue to be with
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): Men going to strip clubs is understandable by why should a woman go to a strip club.Obviously he wanted to go and he dragged you along and it wasn't pleasant for you.you have every right to be upset.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): What an absolute bell end. He paid for a dance for you my ass! He wanted to see another woman and pretended he wanted you involved - and he unzipped his trousers?! Like, what idiot doesn't realise the women in strip clubs are all prostitutes - most are just dancers and his attitude to do that is disgusting. What makes it even worse was you were there! Do yourself a favour and find someone who is committed to you, he obviously isn't. What will happen when you're not there, and the next woman he tries it on with doesn't say no to him - how far is he going to go? And then what - he'll blame it on heat of the moment?
You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): You have all the rights to worry. That's why we are humans, so we control the most wildest urges. Heat of the moment will happen again when you are not around, and if he was trying to unzip his pants in front of you, imagine what will happen when you are not around.
That's why I don't go to strip clubs. What is there for anyone. I went once for strip club and the girls there were completely undressed spreading their legs to show their vagina to old men. people who frequent strip clubs are questionable in my opinion, I wonder if your boyfriend frequents them without you knowing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): Paid for a private lap dance FOR YOU? What a load if bollocks.
Not a coincidence that he's the one who ended up with his pants unzipped. He's a conniving one your boyfriend is.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 February 2015):
 Of course you should worry. It's not a normal thing for a person to remove their pants during a lap dance. His saying he wanted to pay for a dancer "for you" was really about himself. He wanted to get off on seeing her with you, and then when he joined, his action turned it from simple dancing for three to wanting a threesome. There's only one reason why pants would have to be removed, and that's to have sex.
Maybe that's what he had in mind by crossing the border into Mexico - thinking that they allowed touching south of the border.
He took advantage of you and her. It shouldn't be so easy for him to drop his pants in the "heat of the moment", which I would be questioning why he is so comfortable with doing that in the first place. That would show me a guy who does that when I'm not around and has become comfortable in doing so.
You will have some hard conversations with him, and I'd start with "happy endings" and prostitutes. An STI test is also something you should require of both of you at this point, due to his comfort in strangers and bodily fluids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): Well now you have absolutely 100 percent evidence that your partner a) wanted to and b) was prepared to have sex with another woman
It's up to you what you do with that information. Can you live Witb the knowledge he was ready to have sex with someone else or do you want a man who I my desires to have sex with you?
What is your worth in your own eyes is the big question
Personally I would have been out of there the minute he disrespected me enough to suggest going to the strip club.
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