A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:But the truth is...I am nervous about doing it with a real person. But I've also been using sex toys for over a year now. And some are bigger or the same size as my bf (I gave him handjobs so I know his size). To me the toys are really private so I haven't mentioned them. He hasn't been pressuring me but he has asked over and over what makes me hesitant about sex or he tells me I don't have to worry...I've only known him for a few weeks and he said he'd be exclusive with me about a week ago...I know most people have sex by now but I barely know him!! He is right about me feeling nervous in that sense.But I'm not nervous or totally inexperienced sexually like how he keeps implying. But I'm getting so tired of him saying stuff like this. But I feel nervous...should I mention my toys or fantasies to him or will he think I'm weird? Like I've tried to explain the emotional part to him, but won't he think it's weird I use toys but won't have sex with him?Besides, we've given each other handjobs so as far as I'm concerned that is sex anyway since we both get off. But he just also said he wants our relationship to be more official and that he doesn't want to wait because it's unfair or silly. I told him at the beginning I was a virgin...but I hate it when he says he's waiting. I am making him orgasm so he's not waiting for anything from my pov. But I think he thinks I'm childish.Any help would be great, thank you.
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hand-job, orgasm, sex toy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BelleRose  +, writes (19 May 2016):
It doesn't matter what most people do, and most people in my opinion don't have sex after a week. It depends on the situation and most of all you need to feel really comfortable and trustworthy.
The boy you can tell about your toys, and your fears, and respects your point of view, is the one you should start considering this with.
I think this boy just wants sex and once he has got it will probably leave.
I would recommend waiting until you find someone who doesn't ask or pressure you. Whether this is after a month, year or marriage, that doesn't matter.
When it's right for you, you will know xx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 Sweetie he only wants sex, he is working on your emotions to try and make you feel like you should both be having sex. It is way to soon. I would wait and see if he actually does care about you, but it sounds like he is only wanting sex. His promise to be exclusive means nothing if he makes you feel like he is waiting for more. Respect your body and wait to see if he can be a good boyfriend without talking about sex all the time.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 May 2016):
 He's pushing you for sex. He wants sex. He's not going to stop asking and he's wrong.
My suggestion is to Stop being sexual with him at all (NO hand jobs and no getting hand jobs from him) and see how long he sticks around.
if after a few weeks you guys are still doing things together then you can recommence hand jobs.
do NOT have intercourse until you want to and don't feel pressure.
I'm betting if you stop giving him hand jobs or letting him give them to you he will go poof. that will answer your question.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 Your guy sounds like a douche sorry. Its only been official for a week yet he keeps asking for sex. I thinks that you should take it as a sign that sex is most probably all that he is after. No you're not silly or childish for not wanting to jump into bed straight away, that is YOUR decision that you've made and he should either expect that or get lost.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 You are together since last week and " most people would have sex by now " ??
Well, maybe. But lots of people also bring home perfect strangers from some bar and are in bed with them half an hour after " Hallo, my name is... ", which does not make it necessarily a good idea, nor necessarily conducive to happier healthier relationship.
Don't worry about most people, worry about what works for you ; after all you are not having sex because the doctor ordered it , but because you want to have pleasant , fulfilling experiences where you feel safe, cherished and valued. So if it takes more than one week ( which is not a lot of time even by current standards ) or two weeks or twenty weeks, so be it, don't feel guilty or as if you had to rush.
How to explain, I'd say it very simple in your case, you just will have sex when you will be in a committed relationship with someone you trust and feel comfortable with, which is not likely to happen in a matter of days.
I think this is a very simple concept to understand, it really does not take a rocket scientist, so if he seems to not get it, either he is not too bright, or he gets it allright but he plays dumb and his comments are a way to pressure and rush you by making you feel " weird " and inadequate .
Then again, though : even if he really thinks you are being childish , so ? Do you have to care ? He may think you are childish... and by the same token you might think he is a cheeky horndog ; it's a matter of opinions. Let him think all he wants, you do what's right for you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 Yes, you do barely know him. He keeps asking you about sex because I think this is all he is interested in! My advise is that you wait longer and find out if he genuinely cares for you, or if he just wants sex. One week isn't long enough to know, by so far it looks like he is with you to get sex, and not much else.
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