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female
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anonymous
writes: My partner yells at me and calls me names like, idiot and stupid and it doesnt matter what form of employment i am in he calls me a failure. I often wake up feeling worthless and feel too tired to get out of bed as though i havent slept. He apoligizes for the yelling and blames it on his day or that he has higher expectations of me and he is the type of person who expresses their anger in an aggressive way, however gets over it quickly. He can't understand why i can't forgive and forget and says im depressed and mental and should get help. Its just that I find it hard to let go of the words and do feel like a failure as he is the one person who is supposed to love me and yet he treats me this way when all i do is try to please him and do the right thing when infact in his eyes its wrong and now friends are starting to notice that he is very picky of me and i cant seem to do anything right. How do I stop him screaming at me and calling me names?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (6 November 2006):
You are not his punchbag. The other posters are right, he needs to sort himself out and not take his life out on you. This treatment will have ground you down. Stop trying to please him - it obviously doesn't work anyway. I think you'll need to take some drastic action to get free of him to regain your sense of self. That's very easy to write but hard to do. Don't let him do this too you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): It is really tough but if you can talk to him about it, and make sure he really knows the extent of the damage and pain he cuases when he speaks to you this way, then maybe he might start to take your feelings seriously.
Some men are blithering idiots and seem to be void of any emotions, but thats the way nature intended them. but if you want to make this relationship work give him a chance to change his behaviour, tell him that you want him to go to anger management sessions. If you are in the UK then he can see his doctor and explain that he has anger problems and the doctor should refer him to a specialist free of charge.
If he refuses to try to improve his attitude towards you or go to anger manangement then Ithink its time for you to get out of that relationship before he destroys you.
Ok have a good think about what you want to do but make sure that its the best for you not him,just this once!.
good luck
Im always here
xx
but in the states I know these services arent always free, but I'm sure there would be some service available for him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 November 2006):
 Not sure if you can make him stop, he has anger issues. But what you can do is give yourself a breather. If you are living with him then find your own place for awhile. Just give yourself some space so you can do some thinking and so can he. He needs to realize that what he's doing to you is totally unacceptable and it needs to stop NOW. You need to build your self-esteem back up where it should be. You sound like a very lovely intelligent person and you deserve to be treated as such. Do not settle for anything else. Unless he shapes up don't let him back into your life. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): Easy to say, but hard to do; however, you must rid yourself of him. He's a loser. Good luck (nobody deserves this sort of treatment).
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