A
female
age
30-35,
*onfuzedgirl2008
writes:i think i might be pregnant but my boyfriend says i should get an abortion what should i do???i don't want him to leave me alone with the baby but i don't believe in abortion, some out there please help.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 Something inside me just said "no", that it wasn't the right choice for me. The day she was born, I changed. My life had a purpose that I had never known and I felt fulfilled. I honestly believe that she saved my life, I was lost before her.
- kittikat -
I admired your true grit . God bless you.
Many girls go through an abortion for the sake of their
careers or ambitions.
It is more important than an innocent life.
A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (23 March 2008):
 First you said that you THINK you might be pregnant, you should find out first before you make yourself crazy about what to do. Amazingly, a simple test can immediately put your mind to rest....for now. So many times people get into relationships before they really know what the person is all about, what their thoughts are on things like abortion. I think you need to think about whether or not this kid is right for you. Besides, if you're both young, you really don't know what you want yet really. It may change a million times before you're 20. If you don't believe in it, then don't do it. There are many, many options out there and sometimes you just have to deal with life. Just don't do it alone, if he's not there- oh well, not worth it. I'm a single parent and it's not too shabby at times, yes it's hard, but you just do it. You'll have family, friends and there are programs out there to help teen mothers. Many places have special schools with daycare and transportation funding. I got pregnant at 19 and yes, I was married, but to a guy who thought he was still 15. It was a horrible marriage in every sense of the word. I wasn't ready for a baby, I had just started my life, I was in an exciting, awesome job (disarming bombs) and was scared to death when I found out. I was on the pill, how did this happen?! He wanted an abortion and wouldn't talk to me for 7 months because I said I wouldn't get one. Something inside me just said "no", that it wasn't the right choice for me. The day she was born, I changed. My life had a purpose that I had never known and I felt fulfilled. I honestly believe that she saved my life, I was lost before her. I know that our situations are probably very different, sure, but you really have to listen to your gut and not let others influence you. It could be the baby talking, you never know ;-)
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A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (23 March 2008):
First you said that you THINK you might be pregnant, you should find out first before you make yourself crazy about what to do. Amazingly, a simple test can immediately put your mind to rest....for now. So many times people get into relationships before they really know what the person is all about, what their thoughts are on things like abortion. I think you need to think about whether or not this kid is right for you. Besides, if you're both young, you really don't know what you want yet really. It may change a million times before you're 20. If you don't believe in it, then don't do it. There are many, many options out there and sometimes you just have to deal with life. Just don't do it alone, if he's not there- oh well, not worth it. I'm a single parent and it's not too shabby at times, yes it's hard, but you just do it. You'll have family, friends and there are programs out there to help teen mothers. Many places have special schools with daycare and transportation funding. I got pregnant at 19 and yes, I was married, but to a guy who thought he was still 15. It was a horrible marriage in every sense of the word. I wasn't ready for a baby, I had just started my life, I was in an exciting, awesome job (disarming bombs) and was scared to death when I found out. I was on the pill, how did this happen?! He wanted an abortion and wouldn't talk to me for 7 months because I said I wouldn't get one. Something inside me just said "no", that it wasn't the right choice for me. The day she was born, I changed. My life had a purpose that I had never known and I felt fulfilled. I honestly believe that she saved my life, I was lost before her. I know that our situations are probably very different, sure, but you really have to listen to your gut and not let others influence you. It could be the baby talking, you never know ;-)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):
Children are a joy forever.
You do not know what it is like having them until you have them.
Many women would pay anything to have children .
Being pregnant is the most beautiful moments in your life.
Your figure is not RUINED!
My daughter who is 25 and has three children and her figure
is still beautiful and you won't know that she had children.
All these negative thoughts are just hogwash!
Be positive and do not listen to those negative ones.
Does a father really helps in child minding?
There are many families where there is a father but who is
forever absent.
Having a father is like not having one just the same.
The most important thing is to have the support of your parents.
I am sure they will love the grand child with much love.
You can still enjoy life with your baby and remained fulfilled and contented..
That is what life is all about.
It is not about getting degrees and working like slaves and die single in life.
Whats the point?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 March 2008):
selene21682
Yours is a good testimony and I am glad that you see the truth and it set you free.
Too many people are just told to have an abortion and treat it like a contraceptive .
Life is a miracle.
When the sperm enters the egg and the cells divide and split into two, a life is born.It is a living thing.
Abortion has been hotly debated on this post.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-is-an-abortion-done.html
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A
female
reader, selene21682 +, writes (21 March 2008):
 if you dont want to get an abortion, DONT! i used to be like your friend and when my friend was pregnant i told her to get an abortion cause her life would be a disaster but i was wrong! , besides getting an abortion is bad and can cause you health problems so if you want to keep your baby keep it ! MY FRIENDS BABY IS 1 YEAR OLD AND I LOVE HIM! IM SO GLAD SHE DIDNT LISTEN TO ME!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Call a planned pregnancy place and you can talk to a counselor there. I don't believe in abortion either, unless the egg becomes a danger to the mother (such as it becomes implanted in the fallopian tubes.) Don't get an abortion if you don't want to. If he chooses not to help you out, that is his loss.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): He should not force you into anything. That is for sure.
But his feelings about this issue do matter a lot too, just like yours. If you decide to carry this baby to term and keep it, then you are also deciding that he will be a father and the responsibilities that carries for the next 20 years. It took two of you to make this baby.
If you don't want to get an abortion then you should consider giving the child up for adoption. At your age you are really in no position to be a mother and it doesn't sound like he's ready to be a father either.
Please don't fall into the thinking that you're being irresponsible if you give up the child for adoption. It's a lot more irresponsible to raise a child in a bad situation where you two are not prepared to be adult parents yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): If you think your ready for a baby and you dont believe in abortion you shouldnt let your boyfriend force you into this.
if he truly loved you he will stick by with whatever choice you decide and i dont believe in abortions either so i understand how difficult this must be.
Hes the one that got you pregnant so he shouldnt force you into something you dont want to do
Hope this helped x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): All post have strong merit and strong mature advice.
Find out first if your pregnant.
If you are, consult with your parents. This will be tough, but you should, they are there to protect you.
Having a child requires money, you will not be able to provide for yourself and child. Your parents may not be able or have the money and will cause a rough road a head for all of you.
At the moment, the boyfriend should be out of the picture. I agree abortion is terrible, and your boyfriend is being irresponsible and immature and selfish, which is typical for this age because he doesn't have any responsibilities nor experience in life matters, he eats, sleeps, bathes and poops: that is all he knows.
If your not pregnant, then avoiding sex with this boy is critical, no reason to chance this situation again until you know for a fact your ready for a child, know that you can support him/her. Education is extremely important, and having children will distract from this valuable time needed.
Take care, and hopefully your not pregnant, it isn't the right time.
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A
female
reader, BButters +, writes (20 March 2008):
 No!No!NO! DO NOT abort that baby!!!!!!!I agree with Toasty,that baby has a beating heart is a human being,and your little human being,If you or your boyfriend does not want that baby give it up for adoption to some family that are less fortunate and cannot have children.I'm glad to know you are against abortion and so is God!!!You follow your heart and I promise you will be Happy,many women that have had abortion,regret it.Dont be one of them.
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A
female
reader, tebuny +, writes (20 March 2008):
you tell me... which would you prefer? a baby who will love you back no matter what, or a man who wants you to kill the child and still has no guarantee of being with you in time to come? I've had a friend whose boyfriend made her do an abortion and yet, he lft her after like 2 weeks. you tell me girl u tell me
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Laura1318 has a very good point. Confirm it first. Then, see what your parents think about this: you are too young to really be able to decide on this one.
Don't let your boyfriend put pressure on you. He must be as scared as you are, and these words we're telling you should also be told to him, if he were at the site.
You're in a tough spot and you need your parents. But, please confirm the pregnancy first.
And pay attention to Uncle Phil. This is not the end of your world. You will continue to want sex, and this event should let you see that, if you have sex, you have to accept the responsibilities that come with it. I would say it would be best if you were not having sex at your tender age.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): All I can add is this:
Unprotected sex leads to pregnancies and STD's.
If you'd used a condom you wouldn't be asking this!!
I hope you're not pregnant but I also hope that you take this experience as a salutary lesson to be more careful and responsible in future.
If you do the things that adults do, you have to behave like an adult or face the consequences. You can't expect your parents or anyone else to look after any little ones you irresponsibly produce. They've done their parenting duties by bringing you up for the last 13-15 years and probably have no wish to go through all that again through no fault of their own. If you want to ruin your own life, fine, but don't try to ruin anyone elses - and that includes any babies you might produce.
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A
female
reader, angelfire1123 +, writes (20 March 2008):
If you want to keep the kid and you are ready to possibly raise this child alone then by all means have it. This is your child and your body and no one can force you to have an abortion. Do what is right for you and your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): You are smart to be against abortion. We're talking about a beating heart, a feeling thing, and a human life! If you aren't sure about keeping your child, adoption is always the best idea.
Here's a few words of encouragement about keeping it, though...I know this girl who had her baby her sophomore year. We'll call her K, the baby E, and the father B. K and B are still happily together (B is one year older), and E is seven months old with her first teeth already in. They live with K's parents, and are doing pretty good. B has a good job which he's had for about a year, and K leaves the baby with a sitter or her mother to go to school. They both go to school. As long as you have a support system, raising the child should be no problem.
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A
female
reader, velvetluv21 +, writes (20 March 2008):
I agree with Laura. If you are truely pregnant then there are some decisions you have to make. You are very young and although I don't agree with abortion, you need to make the best decision for you and only you. Then regardless of the outcome.. dump his sorry ass. He wants to have sex with you but obviously doesn't love you enough to support your decisions when the consequences of sex come to light. After you leave him please consider waiting a while before becoming sexually active again. I'm having a hard enough time with a 3 week old son at 26. I couldn't even imagine dealing with it during high school and college.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Honey, judging by you're age, I'm not sure keeping it would be the greatest idea in the world.. I totally understand that some people are against it, and I am in no way encouraging you to go against your beliefs, but are you sure you're ready to bring up a baby? Having a baby brings many pro's and con's.
A lot of girls that get pregnant around your age are great with their kids, devote a lot of time to them and are really great parents to them. However, these kids have no proper father on the scene. It hurts me to say this to you, but I doubt the father of the baby is willing to come round and help when its crying in the middle of the night constantly, and wanting a feed and a nappy change! Darling, bringing up a baby without the father there at such a young age is such a hard thing to do. You have nobody to help - obviously your parents might chip in, but why should they? You've been careless enough to get yourself pregnant.
You have no money coming in, so its basically your parents that will have to pay. It's just going to be like them having another child. I presume you'll be living in your parents house - so it disrupts everyone in the middle of the night, is this really fair? Your figure will be ruined, you'll have morning sickness and when the baby is born, you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life. Your whole life. When you're twenty, you'll have a young child, aged maybe 6 or 7, that you have to take care of, so you can't go out on a night very often. When you meet guys that you like, they probably don't want to suddenly settle down into a nice family routine with a child that isnt his! He'll want time with YOU, and not just with your child.
However, having a child can be a wonderful experience - although in my opinion its always better if the baby is PLANNED and not just an accident.
I understand that you're against abortion, and in no way do I want to make you do something you'll regret, but I just don't think you're ready. Yes, babies seem all cute and sweet, but once you've got one, its with you forever and there's no going back, once you've experienced the sickness and the tiredness, and the feeling of bringing up a baby alone. Please think long and hard before you make your decision - I really wish you all the best. Good luck sweetheart, message me if you ever need anything, or to talk.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (20 March 2008):
I think you need to consult your parents first and find out where they stand.
You need to confirm if you are really pregnant.
Have you tested yet?
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