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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my b.f for 3 1/2 years. He was previously married for 20years and he still visits his ex in laws etc. Im not to happy about this should i tell him to stop seeing them or should i have to put up with it as he has known them for such a long time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): Thanks for all your answers its helped me alot.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 If they had children, these people would be the grandparents and unles, aunts etc. People form bonds over the years. How could you expect him to just walk away from everything? That's why I say marriage is about soooo much more thatn just the bride and groom. It's a huge picture that involves many people, events, history and the future. Of course he should be able to see them if he chooses. How did the marriage end?
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A
female
reader, ~*~MissMe~*~ +, writes (11 January 2007):
 These people have become a part of your boyfriends' family!He has split up with his ex,but there is no reason for him to stop talking to,and seeing,her family! Personally,if i were you,i'd be happy that my botfriend got on with his ex and his ex inlaws,at least that way there is no obvious jealousy?!?!?!Anyway,good luck :D x
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A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (10 January 2007):
I think you should put up with it if he only sees them once in a long while, and
if it doesn't interfere with the quality of your relationship.
I think it actually speaks well of him that he remembers these people he's known for twenty years. It means he's a loyal person who doesn't just cut off emotional ties. Maybe they were nice to him when she was dreadful. If you and he keep being together he will probably see less and less of them, and (hopefully) more and more of YOUR family -- if you want to be headed that way!
Still, I can understand how you feel weird.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 I wouldn't make a big deal out of this. I still see an ex's mum about once a week, we have always got on really well. Even though I have split up with my ex for 4 years ago and i never see him now I have a good friendship with his mum and i would never stop spending time with her. We rarely talk about my ex but if we do it doesn't matter now because I'm in another relationship. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hi,
No you should not stop him.
What exactly are you putting up with, he's not seeing his ex is he?
If you have that attitude, you will upset him and maybe chase him away. He sounds a very caring person, and you should be proud of him.
I understand its hard for you, and its also hard when they cant cut ties. But this day and age, with all the break ups, its something we have to deal with.
Anyway he's with you is'nt he, so dont worry, he more than likely see's it as a duty to see old friends. Thats all.
Kind regards and sorry for being a bit harsh XX
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