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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now. The thing is, he has completely stopped giving me oral, which i absolutely love and dont think i want a relationship where theres no chance of it. He did right at the beginning of when we became intimiate 3 months ago, but not for the last 2 months. I have tried asking for it several times now when we are getting down to it and he seems to either ignore me, or says in a minute and then doesnt do it. I dont really now how to bring this up again, as im beginning to feel like im begging for it and getting no where and feeling increasingly unattractive.Any tips? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, cussinggus +, writes (12 January 2007):
 I can't imagine not loving my woman orally EVERY time..Sometimes, it gets me off feeling her passion rise, beg for more. Yes, she always comes first, as chilvary demands. However, having shared my own observations, still remember that "one man's ceiling is another man's floor". Maybe it's just not his passion. I definetly think love making should be reciprical, so treat him as he treats you, assuming you are certain this negligence of his isn't due to a hygene issue.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 I don't think you should stop giving him sex like someone suggested. If a man tried to convince a woman to so something she didn't want to do, we'd be called every name in the book. The last thing you want is some guy doing a particular act he hates. You'll sense it and feel horrible. On the other hand, I'm all for trying at least. I understand he already did though. Maybe he just doens't like it.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 The only way your going to find out is to ask him. Maybe he doesn't like doing it, maybe he feels he doesn't do it very well? could be many reasons and if you don't ask you won't know!
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Well, you can't force him to do this if he doesn't want to (or like to). You CAN have him explain to you why it is such an issue with him. But you have to be willing to accept his answer and leave it at that. If he gives you something like, "Well, I really don't feel like I do it very well," offer some hints and have patience. If his answer is more personal than that you may have to accept that this won't be a part of your relations. We all have things that we can't quite bring ourselves to do, and this maybe one of his. If you absolutely detested performing on him, how would you feel if he insisted you still do it? You'd probably feel that he wasn't taking your feelings seriously, and treating your opinion with less respect than they deserve. There are a multitude of reasons why someone may not do this... and the only way you can find out is communicate.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Do you do give him oral as well? Maybe you should stop and see how he feels about it? Sex is giving and taking. "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", as the saying goes...
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hi Anon,
Buy him a book called; "She comes First" by Ian Kerner. You can download it from the net. Do a google search to find it online. Then get yourself a book called; "He comes next" by the same author. Discuss the situation openly and honestly. If you both love each other then you'll both be prepared to please each other to the max. Enjoy and good luck. Cheers Dagwood
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