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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years,. Things were great at first, but now he hardly talks to me. I was supposed to move in with him about two months ago, but didn't.He says he loves me, but I'm not so sure. He goes out drinking with his friends, he doesn't spend any time with me and he hardly talks to me .Am I the problem? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): my bf and i dont talk on the phone and i like to here his voice.what should we ttalk about?help me-
Speachless
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reader, rphillips +, writes (13 May 2005):
The problem in this relationship can be any number of things. I doubt seriously that you are the problem. Moving in with someone is a huge and very scary commitment. It is more than just "playing house." It is spending time together, talking, watching a relationship grow into something more mature.If your boyfriend is spending more time with his friends and out partying and drinking with the boys, maybe he is just not ready for that step yet.When he is out with the boys, where are you? Are you sitting at home watching the TV? Or are you out with the girls? It is always a good idea to have a life outside of your boyfriend. When he goes out, don't sit at home and wait for him. Now, I am not saying go to the bar and pick up a man. But go and do something. Make sure that he knows you are not just sitting at home waiting around for him.No matter what is going on in your life, you should live you life. Never wait for a man to come a long before you try to achieve your dreams. If you want to take a night class, learn to ballroom dance, or just go and see the newest movie, you do not need your boyfriend to do all of these things.Maybe, when he sees you out living your life, both of you will have something to talk about together. People have to grow and relationships have to grow. If they do not then they die.IF all he wants to do is drink and party with the boys and you are not OK with that, then you have to think about making some serious changes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2005): Hi sweetheart. To start off no you are not the problem. This is an age old thing so many of us suffer from called Men. You have been together for 2 years so yes, it may have been great to start but every relationship in the universe goes off the boil after a long time together. It is quite simply called the honeymoon period and you don`t need to be married to experience this. I have been living with my boyfriend for 6 years now and he is out with his mates a lot of the time too but I know he loves me and have learnt to treasure the special times that we do spend together much more.Men, I am afraid, get into a comfort zone in long term relationships where they don`t realise that we sometimes need them too. Try talking to him about how you are feeling. Say something like, I am not trying to have all of your time for me and you can still see your mates, but just occasionally could we spend some qualty time together? If he doesn`t see there is a problem then you either have to learn to accept him for the way he is and the person he is or change the situation in some way.Take care and the very best of luck to you. I hope this helps you out a bit.
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reader, smilechipper +, writes (13 May 2005):
hi, i dont see why youre with him to be honest with you do you have any life with him at all i think its good you didnt move in with him its easy for him to say he loves you but you dont say he does anything to make you feel loved.you should at least have time together if youre a couple but you dont get any time with him at all,hes not treating you as you should be treated im afraid and for him not to even want to talk to you as well it doesnt sound as if this relationship is going anywhere if it carries on as it has been .take care x
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