| A
female
,
*ast2
writes: Ive been dating one guy for 4yrs. One year we actually lived together, but it drove me crazy; the lies, the kids arguing, ..... Now we live apart but still see each other almost every day. My kids love him. I love him. But he is not giving me what I want. Do I give him the ultimatum or start seeing my neighbor who will do anything for me. (but im not attracted to him)?!? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): first of all, i think there is a problem when you tried living with your boyfriend and found it impossible. if you were planning on having a long future together you would have to live together eventually. so this is a very bad sign. when you say he isn't giving you what you want, what do you mean? you mean he isn't there emotionally? finacially? sexually? i don't understand what you mean here. perhaps you could find out why he isn't there for you and try and see if there is a way that you can both be satisfied in the relationship..if not, then i would say it's time to call it quits!as far as things with your neighbor goes, it sounds like you are just interested in using him for what he can do for you. you are not attracted to him, which is very important in a relationship between two people, and you haven't mentionned anything about feelings for him, so i am assuming that you don't have any. i would tell you to leave the neighbor out of it an not be so selfish.of course you want to be happy and you want for your children to be happy. if you are not happy with this current boyfriend (which is sounds doubtful) i would suggest dumping him. although your children love him..they will understand when they are older that you need someone to be there who is able to support you as he is not. it is never too late to go and find that man who has it all. or, what you do now is work on patching things up with your man so that things are at least tolorable (re: living together) so that things for you can be easier in the future..if you guys just can't seem to work it out...then break up and move on for the sake of you and especially your children!
A
male
reader, pzeller +, writes (30 December 2005):
 #1. You don't say, but have you specifically, and in no uncertain terms, told him what you want (have you told yourself). What I mean is, we men (some of us) may be willing to give the world. We can still be prone to being blind to what is wanted if we aren't told. This holds true for most men (for most people, actually).
#2. No, you should not start seeing your neighbor whom you're not attracted to. You'd be going from one relationship which lacks in column A to another lacking in column B. Makes no sense.
Be sure you know what you want, then make sure HE knows what you want. Then see if he's willing to try. If he is, congrats. If not...
...............................
|
