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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I've started to date this girl two weeks ago and we knew each other from high school. I had just graduated as she was entering her freshmen year. We recently became in contact and she remembers me from band as she was in band to because I came back to help the trumpet line. Anyways our first time of hanging out consisted of her coming over to my house and we watched a movie catching up on old times. As the evening progressed we started holding hands and holding and gently kissing each other. She stayed the night and all we did was just talked all night. Didn't get any sleep. She also stayed the next night and it was the same thing. Just held one another and talked. Well, we've been talking on the phone, seeing each other sparingly. But lately it has been hard trying to get a hold of her. I mean she invited me to come by her work because "it would mean alot to her", she works at a upscale restuarant. I went and had some drinks and food while she was behind the bar. It wasn't busy at the time. So we were talking about the next time we would be getting together and she had said she was coming over tonight after she goes and visits a friend first because she hasn't seen him in a long time since he is in college and is home for break. I said thats fine. But as the night progressed I didn't hear from her nor did she return my calls when I tried contacting her. Still two days and haven't heard from her. Emailed her no response, called her, no response. I have to say though for the two weeks we've been dating we have spoke alot and went out only a few times. But she also says she doesn't like to talk on the phone alot. But yet when her friends call her she will talk to them but never return my calls or emails. Through the duration of this relationship her gift to me was a laptop computer and to her from me was a new palm pilot. I think those are pretty extravagant gifts and shows our affection for one another. Also when we are together we are very affectionate and our feelings are strong. We make each other laugh. We love being around together. We gently kiss, passionately kiss, we lightly touch each other on our arms or legs or neck. I mean I feel at peace and comfortable when I am around her and she seems very relaxed as well. She has a hard time sleeping but when she is with me she says she feels safe and comfortable and sleeps well. I am giving her space, as I don't want to smother her because she is a very independant person as am I. But I do find it kinda disrespectful when she doesn't return my calls but talks to everyone else on the phone. And also about when she said she was coming over but never called to tell me she isn't or not even returning my calls or emails at all. I mean I know one can get busy, but I am having trouble reading her. My question is what should I do? Just go with the flow and wait for her to finally call me or am I just making a big deal over nothing?Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005): hello,
so you have only been dating for such a short time..not even boyfriend and girlfriend and you exchange laptops and palm pilots? hmmm..doesn;t sound like old fashionned romance to me..have you tried bringing her a rose or something less expensive but more meaningful? the gift thing doesn't seem to fit with the rest of your relationship which sounds simple and sweet..ex: holding hands, kissing, and talking all night. maybe that is all she is looking for. although it is hard to tell seeing as you didn't elaborate to much on why the gifts were sent, who initiated it, etc.
chances are that her not responding to your emails and phone calls is a sign that she is not interested in communicating with you. it may even have something to do with that male friend she went to see one night...and didn't return your calls after. she might be more interested in him, but is keeping you on the sidelines just incase it doesn't work out with him (or whomever else she is seeing). sounds like you appreciate her company, but have you actually asked her if she enjoys yours? she probably enjoys her time with you, but maybe only when there is no one else to spend time with. this is illustrated in her talking on the phone with others instead of with you. there are other people she can choose to spend her time with.
my advice to you, is before you go and buy eachother anymore expensive gifts, maybe you should see where you stand with the girl, and if she feels the same way about you. it would be better to find out now before you shell out money for a new car as a gift to her. maybe she sleeps well around you because you bore her with your all-night conversations. i can see being sleepy too after talking all night for 2 nights in a row. so i wouldn't take the fact that she sleeps well around you as too much of a compliment.
i hate to say it, but it sounds like maybe you wasted some time and money on this girl because she obviously is not reciprocating your desire for contact. when people are interested in one another, they usually cannot wait for any smidge of contact with the other. sorry, but it sounds like she has better things to do. best of luck..hope you find someone else you can spend time talking to sleep and spending too much money on.
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