A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy bf of 3 years wants us to take a break as he thinks im too clingy. This all happened during our recent vacation. I wanted to spend time with him but he wants to hang around the bar which made us to fight. We made up during the trip (thats what i thought) and as soon as we landed, he told me he need a break and told me not to contact him until he contacts me, bloked me in facebook, and in messangers.Its been weeks since he contacted me and he is staying with his friends and he told our mutual friends this is his way of punishing me for ruining his vacation (that was supposed to be our vacation not just his).I didnt contact him either as i know he will get angry and when he gets angry he gets phyical too. What should i do now, should i wait for his call or call him. Am i supposed to be punished for asking him to spend time with me during our romantic vacation. Please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): He sounds immature and a donkey ass.. Any guy that would lay a hand on me would be laying in the prison cell.. He gets physical with you, when angry.. He likes alcohol other than spending time with his partner, says it all really.And it's not clingy to go on holiday and to expect that during that time, you devote time to each other .. That what holidays with couples are.Another thing .. People toss this word ' clingy' about as if they have right to label you . And no people who say it aren't always being honest . They use it for their own advantage .I'd tell friends He a psychotic who needs help .. Then get whatever stuff he got me and I would burn it and sanitize myself ..Move on with pride knowing you could have ended up with such an ass .
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 If your boyfriend becomes physical then I would recommend putting as much distance between him and yourself as possible. Permanently. If you want to be safe, don't expose yourself to danger. This is a no brainer.
Now to the other matter. 'Clingy' isn't one of those blanket insults people toss around for the sake of being spiteful. If someone says you're clingy it's usually because you are. And clingy people are as exhausting to be around as a three year old.
Your boyfriend wasn't just referring to the vacation, but to your relationship overall. This holiday was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
It's been weeks since you've heard from him so I'd say it was over. Don't wait around for him to confirm it. Show some initiative and make the choice yourself. Even if you do get back together, it will only be to repeat the same cycle all over again.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 Wait a minute wait a minute.
" When he gets angry he gets physical too " ?
By that ,do you mean that when he gets angry he gets violent and abusive, he hits you, pushes restrains you, slaps you or whatever ? Has he been physical abusive ?
Then, easy answer : you must NOT contact him. You must ignore him, and keep ignoring him even when of if he contacts you back ( which, lucky for you, he does not seem too in a hurry to do atm ).
And, what's with the " punishing " you ? That's a word that should not even exist within a healthy relationship. Even if you had been an absolute pest during this vacation, he is your bf, your equal, not an authority figure, he's not your teacher, tutor, father, there must be no punishment. If there's a problem, you talk it out, you try to come to a compromise, a middle ground solution, and if you find out that this is impossible end either one has to be unhappy- then you part ways. But no mental or physical cruelty, no punishments.
Anyway, the above paragraph is even superfluous in case there have been repeated episodes of physical abuse. In this case, your relationship is already over in substance- and you must take care it stays over .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): I don't think asking him to spend time with you instead of sit drinking while you are on a couples vacation is anything like clingy. He needs to grow up and stop being such a cry baby. If I were you I wouldn't contact him until he contacts you with a grovelling apology. And then I'd probably tell him to sling his hook but maybe that's just me?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): If you call him, he will feel like he 'won' the fight, amd that he can treat you like this and you will come crawling back. Punish you??! He needs to grow up and stop playing games... how on earth can you be clingy when you two are on holiday together. You havent done anything wrong, but I would seriously leave him. You deserve an apology, who does he think ge is? And what he did was really nasty
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 July 2013):
It sounds like he broke up with you... Good riddance. If he abuses you, you need to forget about him. Is that the type of guy you deserve? Your future kids deserve?
If he didn't and no amount of logic will keep you away from him than learn a lesson and stop trying to be controlling.
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