A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice in a hard situation. My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years, and we have a 3 year old together. I have always thought of him as "the one" but about a year ago, we started having major issues....so we called off our wedding that we had planned, and just kinda took it from there. About 6 months ago, I found out that he had been talking to his ex girlfriend. I flipped out because they had a long relationship together and the only reason they broke up was because she left for school. He promised me he wouldn't talk to her anymore and I trusted him, so I got over it. WELL.....fast forward to two days ago, and he left his myspace page open. Out of curiosity, I checked his messages and saw that he sent a message to another ex!!!!! I was COMPLETELY furios with him, and he is saying I am psycho for going through his stuff, which I agree was immature....but how can he blame ME for what he did? What should I do? I can't handle him doing this, last time I told him how much it hurt me and he swore up and down he would never do it again.....what do I do???
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, immature, myspace, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 HiIt is a pleasure. You are just like me i dont wana have any contact with my ex but for guys it is so easy for them to say. Guy are so difficult to undersatnd and they say women are hard to understand?!?Regards
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (26 November 2007):
I feel your pain hun.Let me be straight with you.It's not impossible for a man to stop chatting with his ex,it's just that there's a an ex usually has a good understanding of a man and knows to a good level how to chat him up.If a man truly loves you,he'll not allow ex-issues to come between you.I don't talk to my exes unless they call or we meet in town and i don't necessarily start having deep conversations with them.I simply keep it simple.So tell your man how you feel and that you don't want him doin that again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionChlez, why is it so hard for men to NOT talk to their exes? I just don't get it. My exes are exes for a reason, I don't talk to any of them. I would NEVER go out of my way to message them, email, or call them....so why is it an issue for men?
The reason our wedding was called off was actually my fault. I did something really really stupid and I take full blame for it, but that still doesn't give him the right to talk to his ex! UGH! it's so frustrating!
Thanks for responding to me sexi and tom!
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (22 November 2007):
I'm seriously curious as to why your wedding cancelled. I think that should have been red alert and i think your man has become too comfortable that he's taking you for granted that you can accept and forgive anything he does. You must also understand that especially for us guys not talking to our exes isn't that easy unless the seperation wasn't handsome but limits are always needed and you have every right to know how far he's going. Even if it means checking his MySpace. The fact that he did it again shows that he doesnt respect you as you expect him to. Put your foot down and tell him to stop what he's doing or choose between you and his exes. Don't be scared to threaten him. It might be just what you need to put him in his place.
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A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (22 November 2007):
Hi
I dont think you are psycho for going through his stuff. I think that he is reacting b/c he feels that you have caught him.I think it is time that you set up some rules.Do you still wanna be with this guy?I think you shoulld tell him to make up his mind - He either wants to be with you and stop his "bad habbits" or you would leave. Make sure he is serious and let him know that you wont stand for his nonsense anymore.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson  +, writes (22 November 2007):
 First off, it's normal for a bloke to say "I won't talk to my exes" and then still do it, hell I do, I just know that some girls can't handle it.
Secondly, reading other people's messages is so wrong and I can't believe the amount of people (particularly females it must be said) that do it. So he sent his ex a message, we all do, especially if the break up was not a bad one.
You need to tell him that you'll never do it again, but also reiterate how much it hurts you that he talks to his exes. Come to an agreement, he promises, and keeps it, to stop contact, and you promise to not look through his messages.
In more serious things this would be wrong, but in this scenario, ignorance is bliss.
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