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female
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anonymous
writes: my relationship with my bf is pretty good actually but i want to make him happier because i feel like im not , but i'm pretty shy and i don't know how to go about this . besides this, earlier today i said heyy to him (online) and he just went away . then he signed on again later and put an away message on before i could say anythin or talk to him or anything. i felt like he was trying to ignore me or something. and i know, its kind of soon to assume, but i'm a little paranoid about this because my ex, rite before he broke up with me, he wouldn't talk to me or answer me or anything. so ... what should i do?
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (14 November 2006):
Simple solution: STOP CONTACTING HIM! Your bf is being disrespectful- I get that! And he probably needs some space- okay. So, before jumping to any conclusions, just stop contacting him... wait for him to contact you. If this goes on for a little over a week, then contact him and discuss how his behavior is making you feel and that you don't deserve this from any guy. The worst mistake you can make is to do more for him. Men work in the opposite way. You have to start distancing yourself from them in order for them to treat you right... men don't want to lose a good thing! They just don't know how to hold on to it. Also, you just need to give him space, because he might be wondering if he should stay with you or not. You don't want to do or say anything to make the matter any worse. Give him all the space he wants, but in the meantime, fill your time with friends, work, school, etc. Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006): hi,
the only thing you can do is be honest to yourself. a relationship is a 2 way thing. dont go overboard trying to please him. i know i know, easier said than done. if i were in your situation, id probably do this:
a) plan something for us to do eg. cinema or a few drinks alone where you can talk
b) if/when all is going to plan, discuss about the relationship.
i'd do this because, if he has a problem, he should say it, and you're giving him the opportunity to say it. if things go on as they were, i'd suggest taking a break. Why should you put all the effort in and get nothing back out?
you dont need to sit around waitin on fellas, im sure your a lovely girl so i wouldnt worry about a fella that was willing to put an effort in with you.
ps remember it could be that he has alot on his plate, so try n suss that out too. good luck
(not professional advice, just what i would do )
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