A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do I do or think about my bf of a year watching and jerking off to shemale porn. I've found saved porn websites with videos of tranies and stuff. I confronted him and he said it was a bad habbit but he's not gay and I my wants to be with me. He said he would stop and control himself but I have no way of believing him. All I can do is take his work for it. Please help I don't want me being paranoid wondering if he's still jerking off to this and have it ruin our relationship. Yet ive been very up front with him and have top him he can trust me with all this. Again I need advice on this I don't want to live on in this relationship wondering in the back of my mind if my bf is gay cause I don't think he would ever admit it to me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smitheroon  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 Here's something to think about with porn and let me say this from the outset - I don't think porn is bad. I think porn is like any other pleasurable activity which can range from healthy to unhealthy and it's important to find a medium.
Men love porn, but if it impacts your security in your relationship, then yes, he should be able to set it aside. It's a reasonable request on your part.
Most importantly, shemale porn doesn't make your boyfriend gay. At all. Porn, when NOT used in moderation, often affects the brain the same way an unhealthy activity might (like eating - you can have healthy habits or you can go eat fast food, binge eat, and end up gaining weight etc). Porn builds in your brain like that. It may have started with him liking one on one porn and then escalated to threesomes or orgies and perhaps with time those things got boring and he looked into shemale porn and it kind of turned him on. It doesn't make him gay and it doesn't make tranny porn wrong, it just could be a clue that he is like every other typical man that has looked at a lot of porn in his life and just found things a bit kinkier and kinkier along the way.
Like I said, telling him to set it aside is reasonable. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): It could be that your boyfriend just has a fascination with watching shemale porn or possibly be gay. If he says he isn't gay and you trust him, then that's the main thing that matters, but it sounds like you doubt his words when he says he isn't guy; this kind of raises the question as to why you're with him if you don't trust what he says and if that's the case, then you need to move on with your life.
The question now is since he's watching porn, what is your sex life like with him? If you're not having one or much of one at all, how can you blame him? Generally, men aren't made to be in a relationship and not have sex no matter how gentlement like they are. That doesn't mean a bad thing, it's just general nature.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): He is probably not going to stop doing it, its just that he will be more careful about covering his tracks. But I don't really think you should worry; lots of people look at porn that they would never act out in real life. Its just a fantasy and after sexual release they forget about it. I like looking at lesbian porn and 3somes but the thought of doing this in reality makes me a little nauseaous. I am not attracted to women, not even 1% but I like the porn though. So don't worry too much about it.
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