A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and 1/2. Everything had been going great and we even moved in together for about 9 months. Due to financial reasons I was forced to move back in with my mother and this really hurt his feelings. He thought that I didn't want to live with him anymore. While we were living together I always knew where he was (guy's nights, work, etc.) but now that he has his own place I find that he hides things from me. He says he will call me and never does. On one occasion that this happened, I called him to make sure everything was ok and when he answered he was at a bar with his friends. his phone cut out and he never called me back. about 15 minutes later I received a call from him by accident (touch screen phone) and I could hear him having a conversation with another girl. Of course I was curious and listened for about 15 min. She was laughing and talking about random things. then she suggested that her friend come up and join them. I was so angry that I went up to the bar he was at and began yelling at him. he was drunk and left me there by myself to go to another bar with his friends. I went back to his place and used the key he gave me to let myself in. I tried calling him numerous times, but all he did was answer and hang up. He actually came home but saw that I was there and left again. When I spoke to him the next day he kept saying how his friends don't like how I treat him and that he is whipped blah blah blah. I asked him who the girl was and he said she was just an old friend he happened upon @ this bar. I love my boyfriend so i believed him, and we made up.a few nights later, i wanted we wanted to go out. he texted his friend john* to see if he wanted to go out with us, but he refused(b/c i assume, i would be there). my boyfriend left to get a pizza and left his phone on the counter. I wanted to see what his friend had said about me, so i checked his text messages. His friend had said what my BF had already told me and I was happy that he didn't lie about it...until I looked a little further down and saw a text message from another girl. it read "I can't wait to see you". intrigued I looked at their conversation. He apparently had been planning this trip to go see her and his other "friends" that I had no idea about. he even sent her a message that said "my **** is getting **** just thinking about it". That to me was enough to get angry over. when he got home i told him i was going back to my mom's and i grabbed my things. he went upstairs and just sat there quiet like he knew that I had seen something that i shouldn't have. He asked me what was wrong to which I replied "who is _____ and why does she make your ______ ______?" he got really quiet for a while and said that she was another friend that had moved away and that he was planning on taking his friend john* down there to party for his last hurrah (his gf is pregnant!) my phone began ringing downstairs so i went to answer it and when i came back upstairs he was still sitting there. I told him, that I want to trust him but it's very hard for me to when I find things like that in his phone. I asked him to read back the text convo for me and explain what was being said and in what context. HE HAD DELETED IT WHEN I WENT DOWNSTAIRS! He told me he loved me and would never cheat on me, and that I'm the only girl for him. needless to say since then I have been suspicious. for a number of reasons:- if these girls are such great friends how come I haven't heard of them till now?- he takes his cellphone everywhere with him now, even to answer certain phone calls- he get's mad if I glance at his phone if it rings near me- he recently has been acting distant, and even made up a lame excuse not to have me sleepover the other night- his phone calls have become few and far between and I find it more difficult to get a hold of him- his friends(who have GF's) flirt with and get other girls numbers while they are out, and certainly you kinda act like your group of friends don't you?- he started saying that he was fat and that he needed to work out...I actually called him out on this and asked who was he trying to impress and he said nothing.- one night he was out with his friend john*, and i realized that I had left my make up over at his place. I went over there to get it and he was actually home. he told me that I should call him from now on whenever i was going to come over. wow, if i knew that he was going to be there i would have, if I thought that he was out with his friend what difference does it make if i go to get something that I needed? is he trying to hide something. im sorry this is long, but it has been nagging at me for about a month. my gut tells me something is wrong and little things keep happening to make me believe it even more. however, he also introduced me to his parents that live in another state so it's all so confusing. i thought maybe some advice from ya'll would be helpful.
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female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (11 March 2009):
yikes. All signs point to him just being not that into you anymore. It sounds like he is trying to " downgrade" you from girlfriend you casual hookup. My 1st serious boyfriend did the same exact stuff to me when I was 22. We had dated 2 years, when things went south. I fought tooth and nail to keep him, ignoring my gut. I never found out if he had started to see someone else, but he made it painfully clear I wasn't number one anymoreIn the end I broke up, and years later I came to find out he wanted it to be over and was doing all these things to force me to bail. He didn't want to be the "bad guy" by dumping me after we had talked marriage. But it would have been better if he wasn't a coward So that said, I would try to have a heart to heart with him, and be prepared to walk away. You deserve someone full attention. Someone who gets ** thinking of you. And can't wait to be with u. Good luck.
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