A
female
age
51-59,
*reamzzz
writes:My boyfriend is a serial flirter when it comes to other women.I have lived with him for the past 16 months and although he knows how it makes me feel he still continues to do it even going as far as getting a co workers number at work which I called when I found it in his pockets and she had informed me of his flirting and even asking her out.When I asked him about this he told me he was not going to follow through with it and that he loves and wants to be with me.I have felt so bad due to this that I have started to nag him about it and about other women and it's pushing him away.I love him,I dont want to lose him but how do I make him stop this or at least stop crossing that line?I know he has not cheated on me but I am afraid it will lead to this the more insecure now I become.What do I do?
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at work, cheated on me, co-worker, flirt, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): the guys an idiot!I went to a barbecue with him Saturday night and he was chasing a girl 19 and 15 around the yard like a silly school boy and then I was suppose to say something to this young girl when i was trying to help her out with her leg that she injured earlier in the night so she goes and tells everyone I was nasty to her when I was not.How can I be when I was trying to help her?When I told him I never said anything he tells me he doesn't know what to believe.....so we argue all day long over the fact hes not on my team and then last night tells me he doesn't know what he wants so hes gone,he moved out this morning but said I kicked him out LOL,it's funny how they turn things around.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 He is being an ass. He needs to stop leading people on. I think that you should start flirting with males and start ignoring what he is doing and see how that makes him feel.
You have my condolensces.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 No one is perfect and sometimes we just close one eye.
As long as they don't flirt in front of you , it can be considered normal.
You may assert your rights but it can hurt him or your relationship.
As long as he does not cross the line, you will bear with it.
You can flirt with others and see how he would like it.
Most men cannot see from the other side.
You need to mirror to him back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): well ok,the thing is he has turned this around on me saying I have overreacted and am carrying on over nothing,that it never eventuated BUT what if it did?I asked him had she agreed what lies would he have told me?I just hate feeling like I am not good enough.Yes he lives with me but when he goes out looking elsewhere asking other girls for their numbers (mind you she had no idea he had a girlfriend or one that he lived with for that matter).My self esteem has shot through the floor and he is doing nothing to make up for what he has done to hurt me in the first place,instead it's all about him now and what I am doing with the nagging.I just want reassurance and love from him and if I cannot get these things I think it's time for me to move on.
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (7 March 2008):
hi
he may not be a flirt, my wife says that about me, but i love her dearly and would do nothing she would not approve of.
when we go out with other couples i always want to site boy girl. not the tipical australian way i know. but i like to talk with women. is that what he does.
i also say hello to women down the street who i know but my wife dosent from the gym. i expect your b/f is the same
talk to him about it or message if you want to discuss in detail
take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Tell them that what they are doing is wrong, and if they don't stop, they won't know what will happen in the future. Also tell him that the people he flirts with are bad. Just take his mind off that and try to spend more time with him as a normal best friend! It will change him! All he is looking for is attention.
Hope it works out!
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A
female
reader, Katie-ann  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 It sounds that he doesnt deserve the chances you keep giving him. People cross the line and continue to do so when they know they can get away with it. You need to tell him just how much it upsets you and show him that you are serious! If he does it again then you need to think, does this man respect and love me enough to stop flirting? You are also right, you will become more and more paranoid and nag him more which puts pressure on you both. Its down to him to prove to you that he will not flirt with other women. Otherwise you only have 2 choices, put up with it or tell him you cant live like this anymore. Just remember, you havent done anything wrong.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (7 March 2008):
 On a personal level, I think being flirty is part of someone's personality. Some people are just natural born flirters. To stop yourself worrying, I'd just remind yourself although he flirts with these girls + teases them, YOU'RE the one he's picked to call his girlfriend + be with, NOT them.
Alternatively, try flirting with other guys + see if he likes it! Nothing quite as good as giving someone a taste of their own medicine! Then you can say "Now you know how this makes me feel!"
So try not to let it get to you too much. :] x
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