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female
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anonymous
writes: My new boyfriend who is 29 (I am a 30 yr old female), is friend's with almost every ex-girlfriend he has. Some he hangs out with and others he just talks to. We have been dating for 7 months now and we are exclusive. He also has old personal porn with some of these exes - videos, erotic messages, naked pics of exes' slutty girlfriends, etc. - saved on his laptop and home computer. He slept with one ex just after we met (1 wk) - but has not since then. He said he got rid of this stuff but did not. He said he told me he got rid of it b/c he intended to - just has not had time - though I have made it clear to him that it bothers me. He swears he has not done anything w/ any of them and has not looked at the stuff in ages. I am worried about physical infidelity as well as emotional infidelity. We have a very healthy sex life. Should I be concerned? Are these "red flags" as my grandmother calls them? Or just normal male behavior?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): These are probably important to him as emblems of a life he is outgrowning. You might keep old love letters or pictures from a vacation with an ex to keep alive what are positive memories and feelings from a particular point in your life. That doesnt mean you want to be back with the person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2005): I agree with the previous poster...this guy has a screw loose. I wonder if his ex gf's are friends with him, just to ensure he doesn't post all this stuff on the internet.That should be a huge concern. He is a user!
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A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (2 December 2005):
 Girl, this guy is playing you for a fool ... how can the 2 of you possibly build anything together on this kind of foundation? I would say this is more than a "red flag" situation...more like a huge banner waving in the wind.. he has not got rid of all the filth till now, as he hasnt had the time??? what kind of crap excuse is that? let me tell you, he doesnt intend on removing it. and next thing you will know, YOU will be the porn star in his next dirty little movie and we will be having this same conversation with the next girlfriend in line, discussing YOUR live shows... this guy is still hanging out with the ex's as well?? what is THAT all about? I say, run like hell, before you end up on his little sex files, generated by his sick perverted little mind.
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