A
female
age
30-35,
*mogurl321
writes: i was on my facebook and my boyfriend and me were messaging. we just turn 1month together~! (: and well im going to see him today but i told him im going to be wearing my favorite black skinny jeans with my tight pink shirt. (have to admit the shirt is kinda low cut)and he freaked out and said and i quote 'DONT WEAR THAT TOP! AND IF THOSE JEANS ARE TIGHT NO! DONT WEAR THEM!' i said why not? and he said he dont need other guys looking at me and him getting mad. so i said wow well... its my body and i want to wear it! and he said fine but he dont wanna hear me complain if a guy looks at me and he *my boyfriend* gets mad and trys to kill him.. i think he really hates me wearing the clothes i do but i cant help it! its my style. im a normal lil emo girl!! i really think he needs to get over it!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2011):
be yourself... dress to please yourself... if he does not like it, he can either get over it and accept it or he can leave. AND honey if he leaves he was not meant to be your bf because you would never be able to be yourself....
I have the opposite problem... I'm 51 and think I should dress my age... my boyfriend is only 38 and he likes me in tight short skirts and high heels... I compromised with him and I do wear shorter skirts and heels on dates with him but for work, I often wear pants and flats... and weekends for errands and such I get jeans and clogs.. and he has to deal with it. He hates buttons on my tops and I wear cardigans a lot. he complains and I tell him.. "suck it up" and he does...
IF YOUR boyfriend will NOT accept it (whining a bit is allowed if done tongue in cheek) then he will not ACCEPT YOU as you are... is this truly someone you want to be with?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): Get out while you can I don't want to sound extreme or scare you but my dad was contolling to my mum 23 years later my dad no longer alive after we found the courage to speak out about him abusing me. I am not saying your boyfreind will turn out like my dad, but a relationship should be about love and companstionship and keeping each other happy not control x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): skinny jeans and a shirt is hardly revealing!
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (26 December 2011):
controlling- red flag awareness
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 December 2011):
Is this the same BF that goes berserk if you hug your male best friend ?...
No, he won't get over it, quite frankly he sounds like a nutcase. It's you who need to get over him !
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A
female
reader, emogurl321 +, writes (26 December 2011):
emogurl321 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes i told him he is being controlling and he had nothing to say but still im with him. i do love him but he shouldn't step out of line and tell me what to wear! i think the important part is im not wear a skirt up my ass with a tube top! he just really cares about me though. BUT THANKS SO MUCH i will talk to him more about how its my style and to let it go
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 December 2011):
You're absolutely right - he does need to get over it. I thought when he meant revealing he meant extremely short skirts or something. But to be moaning about skinny jeans is truly controlling and excessive.
Now, getting to the very important point - I don't think that you should be with this guy. Partially because he's controlling, which is a good reason, and partially because after just a month he's suddenly shown his true character. But, also because he's outright threatened to effectively hurt someone else if he thinks they're looking at you. That's pretty sick, creepy and controlling. If a girlfriend of mine ever stepped out of line like he has with you, then I'd dump her.
I think you're dating a real creep who is just looking for a fight and will hurt someone (maybe even you), and then blame it on you. He sure as hell won't change, so perhaps you need to move on for your own safety and sanity - and also to get rid of this poor behaviour. You're better than the treatment he can offer you..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): Tell him if he does not like it he should find a girlfriend who shows less.
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