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female
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anonymous
writes: my b/f looks at porn alot. he sneaks around behind my back to do it and even though it bothers me that hes looking at other women it hurts more to know that hes not open and honest with me about what he wants. I have noticed from the sites he looks at that he has fantasies, fetishes or whatever you want to call them. He has an anal fetish with women and himself and i have found shemale porn and searches for strap ons and other sex toys. i have tried to talk to him about it but he says hes just curious but i think its more. i think i have the right to know if we are in a relationship. am i wrong for asking and if not how do i get him to open up and tell all
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male
reader, boywoman  +, writes (14 July 2010):
why are you worried by this, shemales are a common porn and many people watch it, I agree, try to watch it too, it might help, and you might like it...
A
female
reader, *deadrainbowpixie* +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Hiya! Me and my boyfriend love transvestites and shemales! We look at porn together. Why dont you try that :) Ask if you can look with him, and not to go behind your back, because thats wrong in a relationship. Try to get him to open up. While youre both looking, ask him what he likes about it. And if you think youre up to trying something he's looking at, ask him if he'd want to try it with you... Tell him that he shouldnt be shy with you, and that he can tell you any of his fantasies or things he wants to try... Maybe if you feel like being kinky, you could buy a strap on, and wear it? And use it on him? Just a thought :) It's something me and my boyfriend would like to do (we cant be together at the moment. Unfortunately - family reasons!)... Anyway, I expect he is just curious to know whats out there - just like I am. I like to do internet searches for weird stuff, fetishes etc, just to see what its like :) Its fun! Try things with him :) And good luck with your boyfriend! xoxo
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Getting someone to open up about something like this can be very difficult. Main stream porn is hard enough for a lot of guys to talk about but an anal fetish and shemales has got to be something he would rather keep in his closet. I would think the best way to get him to open up is to express interest in this with out being accusing or demeaning. If he feels attacked he will retreat and minimilize what it meaans to him to get you off his back. Why not ask if you can visit the sites with him? If he allows you to do this, he will certainly be vulnerable and it is important that you respect the fact that he has opened up this much. Try to figure out what it is that interests him so much about it. He may want to experiment with things with you but is afraid to ask therefore he searches for it on the web. I don't think you are wrong at all for wanting to know why he is doing this, you are in a relationship and honesty is very important. Getting him to stop looking at the porn may be a whole different battle, though. Good luck.
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