A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who ive known for some years now, who lived in a different state. We use to be really close, like best friends but he had a gf and we stopped talking, I heard he moved and then he got his number changed. I dated this other guy and we broke up, who I guess turned out to be his friend, who he was visiting for a couple weeks, and he found my number in his phone and decided to contact me.When I say "Best Friend", I mean we wanted to be with each other, we loved each other but there were a series of obstacles, that interfered with this goal, so instead we were really close and had no secrets between us. hints the term best friend. Well when we got back in touch he told me he was single and he moved closer to me so we could see each other more often then we use too, he said he missed me , and That he wants to get back to being the way we use to be.First off I realized he changed, he was more caring, more sensitive, more willing to listen. He would get emotional at times and tell me his feelings and how things were for him since we haven't been in contact. He tells me he loves me more often and he shows more of his softer side. We usually text on and off a couple times a day, but its always a brief conversation like, guess what happened and then he says something, then I comment, and then convo basically over and then he calls me every night before I goes to bed. Well he asked me to video chat once and I couldn't because my computer wasn't working. SO he called me, I stayed up all night with him because he had to be somewhere early in the morning and didn't want to go to sleep, so before we hung up I said text me tomorrow. ( he usually does) but instead I texted him because it was late in the evening and I haven't heard from him( 1st thing that made me think something was wrong), so we talked normal brief convo, later he asked if I was home yet and I told him Im just pulling up and he replys with a "nvm" so I say okay. Around the time that he usually calls me he texted me instead saying you've been very fake today. ( his meaning of fake is, you haven't talked to me all day ) and following that he says bestfriend I am mad at you. I replied asking why but all he said was whatever goodnight. I ask him to tell me whats wrong so I can fix it I don't want my bestfriend to be mad at me and all he says is too late goodnight, so I reply back saying I wish you would talk to me, youre kind of being mean but if you want me to leave you alone I will, goodnight. and he says its not like you care so whatever.Can someone please tell me what I did wrong? I feel terrible and he didn't even called me before I go to sleep, and now I cant sleep. He usually calls me Bestfriend, or baby, or boo. But instead he called me by my real name which he never does unless hes mad. I don't want to lose my bestfriend again, but he wont tell me what I did wrong? He's only been mad at me one other time in the 4-5 years Ive known him, and it was awful we didn't talk for months after that happened and I don't want that again. He just came back into my life.. Help!!
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (16 July 2013):
Hi there. Perhaps he is not really over the girl he was going out with before.
And if not that, well then maybe he isn't really sure if you are interested in him now.
Because, you were really only good friends, and not boyfriend and girlfriend specifically, were you?
And so you hadn't actually gone down that path, when you knew him before - and that was because he already had a girlfriend.
And so it was only platonic, between you then.
And as he has since moved away, from what you say here, it seems that it is now long distance.
Did I get that right?
And I say this because you are talking about texting each other mainly, and then the mention of video calling each other.
And you would only be doing this, if you were unable to see each other - because of distance.
And it is possible, that the distance situation, is a bit of a problem for him.
And it often causes people to have doubts about what the other person is doing, in their absence.
And there can be some misunderstandings, because of this also.
And so he might be reading more into you replies to his texts, than what is actually there.
And unfortunately, text messaging because of abbreviating and using less words to keep it short, there is room for taking things out of context, and also misunderstanding the other person's mood at the time of writing that text.
And this could be why he said what he did.
Plus if you were both tired at that time, he may not have properly read your text, and he took it the wrong way.
And thinking that you might have been a bit cold shouldered to him.
And it is SO easy to do this - especially with text messages.
And each time we write text messages, if you don't clarify certain points, it could be taken a whole different way to what we really meant.
And so the other person reads it, and thinks we are angry with them.
And so for this reason, it is really important to carefully check what we have written in a text, BEFORE we send it.
And see if we would be offended by it, if they sent it to us.
I think you understand what I mean here.
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