A
female
age
30-35,
*luekoi
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm afraid of losing a best friend. My best guy friend just confessed with me last night that he's in love with me. He told me that he's felt attracted to me for a while, but for the past month he was afraid that he was falling for me. That would be awkward enough, but the thing is...he's in a relationship. In fact, he's Engaged! I'm supposed to be the maid of honor in their wedding! I'm friends with his fiance as well, just not as close as I am to him. Should I tell her, even when he made me promise not to say anything? I don't feel attracted to him, despite our friendship, and I told him that. I think his fiance is able to tell that he feels something for me, and she's even begun to act funny towards me. So to sum it up, should I distance myself from my best friend and hope his feelings for me go away, or should I be honest to both of them and get it all out in the open...even if it means it messes up their wedding plans? Please Help! I'm so lost! Any Advice Is Appreciated!!!
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best friend, engaged, fiance, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bluekoi +, writes (12 August 2011):
Bluekoi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Everyone! Thank you so much for all of your replies!
I've gotten some great advice so far. At this point, I'm pretty sure that I am going to distance myself from him for a while, and hope that it is just pre-wedding jitters. I'm not too sure about telling his fiance yet. And I can totally put myself in her shoes. I mean, who wouldnt want to know if their man has interest in another woman?! But I also don't want to make a rash decision, ruining things for them. I'll give it time and see where it goes. If he continues to come after me, telling me that he loves me, then I will have to do something I really don't want to. But it's for the best.
Thank you again!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): Does your other friend, the woman deserve to know her future husband wanting to cheat? YES of course she does.
If you were going to get married and your guy was doing this, wouldn't you want too know? wouldn;t you have a right to know and then make a choice???
Tell her, don't be unfair.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (12 August 2011):
 I would start backing away from this friend and consider him an ex friend. If he questions you about your distance, you tell him that he is engaged to be married. If he has feelings for someone else he should seriously reconsider getting married. It does not matter if you feel something for him or not...he is making vows to another woman.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (11 August 2011):
 I wouldn't recommend you telling your friend's fiancee about his "indiscretion."
Surely he has to know his behavior was completely wrong - after all, when they marry he will promise to be faithful to his wife and her only. Don't know if he was attempting a last-minute "fling" but whatever his motives, it was pretty cheap.
As for what you should do, it would be better to view him now as a FORMER friend and have nothing more to do with him - even if it means you don't participate (or attend) in their wedding in any way, shape or form.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): I don't think your friend is in love with you but it is a common line men use to get sex and many women do fall for it. He may also be getting pre wedding jitters and that fear of being with only one person the rest of his life. You are probably his closest female friend and so he trusts you the most to not say anything so you are a safe choice.
It's a good thing you declined and I'd keep it to yourself. It doesn't mean their marriage is doomed either. Many men just want to get it out of their system before committing to one woman for life.
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