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My best friend's in love with me! But I don't see him that way.

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2010)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met him two years ago.. (He's two years elder to me and we're in the same school) Since then we've been best friends. We used to hang out all the time, and talk the whole day. And he kept on having a crush on me. I didnt know about it till my girlfriends told me about it. I decided not to react to it anyhow. He was my best friend. And I loved him. But not romantically. He even asked me out. I denied. And he totally stopped talking to me. I felt so bad and I cried a lot. So my friends told him about it. He came running to me in the recess and told me he was sorry. And everything became normal again.

I know that he really loves me. And I can act all childish and how ever I want to in front of him, without ever feeling stupid about it. But I just can't see him as my boyfriend. But I can't see him hurting. What do I do?

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (22 January 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntyou are using him

end it if you do not like him

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (21 January 2010):

Stayc63088 agony auntWow, ignore the first post. Absolutely ridiculous. I have been in your situation. I was best friends with the sweetest guy, would have done anything for me, not really attractive to me but attractive, I was more comfortable with him than anyone else. Yet I just couldn't date him, there was no feeling there. It is not your fault at all. You need to tell him that although you love him, it is only as a friend and you simply will never feel the same way about him. Not having this conversation is giving him false hope that one day you will change your mind and fall in love with him as he is with you. If you truthfully do not feel that will ever happen, you have to tell him. He can be upset at first but he will move on and you will be able to be friends. You won't be able to now most likely, he is going to need his space to move on from you. And like I said he will be upset at first but he will get over it. But if you continued like you are now and he keeps getting false hope and let down over and over it will do irrepairable damage to your relationship. Trust me, it's the mistake I made. If you truly love him as a best friend and want him in your life let him know you won't ever see him that way, tell him he needs some time apart to move on, and he will. He can meet a girl who does feel the same for him and you can be his friend again. Just don't lead him on for fear of losing him as a friend. Good luck.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (21 January 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntwhy are you not attracted to him?

is he not good looking?

I had a best friend that claimed me to be "the most beautiful thing she's ever seen" but would not go out with me, because we were friends. She volunteered the attractivness part before i asked her out.

I saved her life and we talked all the time. Just like you two.

If he is physically attractive to you, regardless of who it is, give it a shot.

You will regret not trying.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

you already love him, you just dont know it yet. I hope he finds himself a girlfreind and stops being your freind, your just not worth it.

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