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female
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anonymous
writes:Ok, my and my boyfriend have been together for almost 5 years. I'm starting to question our relationship though because of the inconsideration he has for me and my feelings. Last night his nephews and niece had stopped by with his sister. His nephews came downstairs and I was working out on the elliptical. They decided they wanted to play with the treadmill. One of the boys is autistic. He was on first and was going quite fast and had fell and slid off and then the treadmill jumped up onto the wall. I had asked them to quit, but the other boy decided it was his turn now. After they had left, I was quite upset that they almost broke the treadmill and expressed that to my boyfriend. He stated that it don't matter since we didn't pay anything for it. He doesn't use it, I do. I just blew it off and took a shower. He was upset that I had locked the bathroom door, which I never do, but I needed to cool off before I talked to him. He had left to go have a few drinks with his friend, which was fine because I enjoy time to myself. He came back and I was on the phone. He started yelling and shouting at me that I was mad and I was stupid for locking the bathroom door. I tried to blow it off and asked him to shut up, but he continued to where I had to get off the phone. I tried watching the rest of the movie I was watching and as loud as I had it, he just kept getting louder and louder. I had to leave. When I got back he was gone. I called to see where he was and was gonna be home soon. I was upset when he got back because he smelled of alcohol soooo bad and still continued to yell at me. This does not ever happen. I was trying to ignore him once again, but then my anger got the best of me. I had stated that I don't think I love him anymore and I don't see our relationship going anywhere. I regret saying these things and now he does not want to talk to me. We have a house together so it's kinda hard for me to do anything. He kept stating that we always fight when he goes out, but that was true a long time ago. I don't get mad about that anymore, but he makes me mad and then states I'm mad because he went out which is not true anymore. He just kept saying to give him the rest of the money for the house and just leave. I feel bad for what I said, but I also am upset that he started this whole thing and turned it around on me to make me look bad. I can't leave, I just want to know am I wrong for getting mad? He's making me feel bad and I do because of what I said, but it seems he was instigating it cuz he knows how I am when I'm angry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I do love him very much and I apologized as soon as I said it. I have been apologizing but he's not accepting it. I don't know what else to do. I do not want to lose him. I told him I was sorry and that I really do love him with all my heart and don't want to fight. He isn't responding to any of my calls or texts. I will see what happens when I get home I suppose.
Thanks again!
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 January 2010):
 To me it just sounds like a bad fight, nothing to end a relationship over. Yes he may have started it but now the fight has turned into being over what you said, that you don't love him. I have been in many of the same fights and have learned that just because the other one started it does not make it okay to say whatever you want to later. I've also had relationships end over stupid things I did not mean to say and was said purely out of anger. You have to see how much it hurt him to hear that. Yes he was being an ass, yes he is also at fault, but I really think you should be the first to apologize. And it is hard to when you are still mad and feel like you are right, etc. But do you love him? Do you really want to lose him? Is the fight worth losing him? Granted I don't know anything else about your relationship or any other problems you may have, I am only going soley on this fight. It is petty. And if he is worth it, swallow your pride, apologize, and talk it all out. And you aren't wrong for getting mad if I haven't already said that before. I am the same way you are and go much too far when pushed too far, and have said things that ended relationships for the stupidest reasons. Say you didn't mean it (if you didn't) and that you don't want to leave. But obviously if your answer to "is the fight worth losing him?" yes, then leave. Good luck with everything.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 January 2010):
No, you're not wrong. Everyone is entitled to time to themselves, and for him to lose it over a locked door shows how bad he really is. I'm not sure how you live (rented or live in), but if you split, don't give him any money.
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