A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I used to have this best friend who was practically the second half of me coz we were that close and stuff. We just clicked and got on sooooo well. We both drifted apart a little bit wen we both got into relatioships tho but we still practically lived in each others pockets. Then me and my boyfriend broke up and i met this new lad (lets call him adam*) and we got on like a house on fire n we got really close and i ended up liking him alot and we ended up kissing. however i got back wit my ex a bit after. after about 4 months we broke up again and this time for good - so i thought maybe me and adam* could maybe make a go of things .... but it was really complicated because adam* had become quite close friends wit my ex. i told my best friend about it all n she understood n thought i should go for it with adam* - she had never met him tho. she also became single soon after me, then one night wen we were out i introducted my best friend to adam* and told her how much i liked him. 2 weeks later i get a phone call from my 'best friend' saying she had met up adam* and they kissed n she apologied soooo much. i was really hurt coz i told her how much i liked him but she went behind my back ... so we started to drift apart even more. however even tho she knew i liked him she contnued to talk to him all the time and we ended up having a massive argument over it and we arent friends anymore. its not the fact that she went after him even tho she knew i liked him it was how she handled it - now she is being a complete B*@*H wit me as if i did sumat wrong ... she started saying that every1 she had told about the situation had said i am worse than her!!? i dont get how i am tho??? when she was the one who went behind my back and did that - is tht wat friends do??? even if she liked him ?? am i actually in the wrong?? at one stage i did try 2 look past it but she just kept rubbing my nose in it all the time n i couldnt cope wit it. so ive lost my best friend n a potential boyfriend. but she seems dead happy coz shes now got him even tho she ruined our friendship over it. i would just liked you opinion on this and if u have any advise. Thanks! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): She should have spoken to you about it before she did anything. If you told her you liked him before she and him got together then she should have discussed her feelings for him with you before she acted on them, its just the way things are with best friends. Mates before boys. If you want to be friends with her you should tell her how hurt and betrayed you feel but also tell her that you want to still be friends with her and that shes making that difficult by talking about *adam all the time. Tell her you are willing to look past everything because your friendship means so much to you but she needs to understand that the thing with adam is a sensitive subject for you and she needs to be more considerate when shes around you and a bit more tactful. Good luck, everything will blow over soon. I've been in situations like this quite a lot. Take care xxx
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 she isn't a real friend ..and she doesn't have the right to blame you for anything ..after all it's better to know who your real friends are..sooner or later you would've known the truth about her ..act as if nothing happened and as if you don't care..and for sure you will find a great guy for you some day and he will be all yours...and for the guy *adam,well he won't last with her for long cause both of them aren't faithful..and one of them will end up cheating on the other.. anyways good luck...you have to know how to pick your friends..
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A
male
reader, mrcrazymontgomery  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 There was no betrayal; people can date whoever, and they can change their mind whenever; so long as no one is married, there is no one betrayed.
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