A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend showed me a picture of my boyfriend kissing another girl. When I confronted my boyfriend he demanded who had told me. I ever gave him the name. He then told me I betrayed this relationship because I choose this "other source" over him. I broke up with him but why am I getting blamed when he was clearly in the wrong?!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 June 2014):
 He IS in the wrong - you are not - and you KNOW this so why even listen to that tit of a man you call your BF?
IT IS easier to try and put the BLAME on you. That means he can feel "better" about his actions because in HIS mind it's ALL your fault.
And IF you LET him "make you think" that maybe he is right, then you are as big of a git as he is. JUST refuse to play his ridiculous games.
Come on now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): With all due respect, OP, why is he even still your boyfriend when he's acting this way?
Who cares why he's trying to worm his way out of this by deflecting it back on you? Just get rid of the fool.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 June 2014):
 Because he did not know what else to say, he got caught with egg all over his face , lol ! He HAD to cling to something to, at least, not look like a total schmuck, didn't he ? So he brought up your " loyalty ", and believing more to your friend than to him... which could only apply if this was just hearsay, not when you have seen photographic evidence with your own eyes !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): I feel the other respondent - Adeboyefa - is taking a very strange and unhelpful perspective on this, which doesn't add up - or maybe it's just the way it was expressed.If your boyfriend was kissing someone in a public enough place to be photographed then you have every right to comment on it AND the fact that a person has shown you the evidence. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. From what you say it sounds like you remained loyal to your friend and didn't disclose who told you?He is obviously incredibly immature. I recognise this behaviour as my ex was very like this. A great many people are like this - they manipulate the situation to try to confuse you about what is morally right or wrong, placing doubt on yourself and causing you to 'lose track' and become insecure about your own standards and values. You are totally right to dump him, he will just play mind games with you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 June 2014):
 You've heard the expression about offense being a good defense (I think I got that right). Well, that's what this is.
He's trying to deflect attention from what he did and on to how he feels by claiming you betrayed him. The idea is you're supposed to trip over yourself apologizing and trying to prove yourself so you won't hold him accountable.
Ignore it. Don't try to reason with him because you will get nowhere. He wants you to feel guilty so he doesn't have to.
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A
female
reader, Adeboyefa  +, writes (27 June 2014):
 You shouldn't have brought your friend into the matter. The photo was enough evidence anyway so you didn't have to disclose your source. You have gotten your friend into your ex's bad books. I am sure she won't expose anything to you again.
Don't join the police or any detective agency until you learn to be more discreet with your mouth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): He does not want to admit his wrongdoing. Rather than own up to his actions and face the shame and embarrassment (which is a result of his choices), he prefers to convince himself that you're the one who betrayed him. He's immature and lacks self awareness. It may have been a way for you to feel guilty and drop the subject and continue dating him. People like him are a waste of time. Good riddance.
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