A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunt and uncles!My best friend who is like family has had me as part of her circle during the pandemic. I’ve been pretty depressed and talking about wanting to get back together with my ex with my best friend a lot. I’m not unsafe with the pandemic I still work, but practise social distancing the best I can. I didn’t expect a reunion with my ex, but since we got back together my friend has expressed wanting to end our friendship because she doesn’t like my ex and since my ex and I have both been isolating as much as possible we got together in person and have been spending time together, now I’m no longer welcome in my friends home because she doesn’t want to risk her kids which I understand but she never expressed any of this when we would talk about the fact that I wanted to get back with my girlfriend. My friend is now mad that I can’t see her for Christmas or her kids birthdays and wants me to not see my girlfriend but it just seems to be my girlfriend because everyone else in my circle doesn’t seem to bother me so I can spend the holidays with her, and told me I am selfish and should have stayed single through the pandemic even though she thinks it will last for another two years and I think that’s an easy thing to ask when you live with your bf. Any advice on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want to lose my friend or her family but I don’t want to give up my relationship.
View related questions:
best friend, christmas, depressed, get back together, got back together, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, NoodlyCatastrophe +, writes (1 January 2021):
 Just so you know, a "best friend" isn't a role or a position that people fill. She is your best friend because no other friend makes you feel the same way she makes you feel, no matter whether she is a good friend or not.
From the way you described her however, your best friend sounds like a controlling asshole.
You said you don't want to lose your friend and her family, but also don't want to lose your boyfriend. Guess what? You're not in control over the decisions other people make. The only thing you can do, is do what is best in your own interest, while trying to keep the peace.
Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to keep the best friend. She isn't good for you. She sounds like a toxic person who wants you all to herself.
You see, I have a few really great close friends. They all want me to be in their lives and vice versa. However, none of them has ever told me that they will abandon me because I fell in love with someone, regardless of their personal feelings. Why? Because good friends support you, unless those decision we make bring harm to them.
So why oh why, would you even consider keeping a best friend who doesn't support you, nor want what is best for you? She calls you selfish. Well, she's obviously projecting isn't she?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2020): It was a little confusing trying to understand your situation, but as far as I can see you have already made your choice to reunite with your ex.In these circumstances, regardless of the pandemic you should just live your life as best you can.Being there for your friends children is a nice idea, but as so many people have had to restrict contact with others you will find that you are no exception.It is probably better for you to reunite with your ex, rather than wait around to be wanted occasionally when it suits your friend.It is understandable that you want to be supportive of your friends children but for now that has to wait until the restrictions are lifted.
...............................
|
