A
female
age
30-35,
*breez5
writes:So I broke up with my boyfriend because I caught him and my bestfriend making out. My bestfriend knew that me and him were dating and I confronted her about it she apologized and it seemed like she was sorry about it and whatever I broke up with my boyfriend. My friend called me and asked if she can talk about what happened I said sure so we met up and she said "I'm sorry that u had to see this but I really like him a lot and he makes me feel happy, I'm sorry I have to tell u this but me and Eric (ex boyfriend) are in a relationship." I tried hard to hold my tears I started crying and my bestfriend for 9 years had the nerve to hug me apologize and hoped in her car and drove away. I couldn't belive what was happening to me. This is hurting me and I can't stop crying. How can I feel better and get over this and move on? This is such a terriable feeling. Does it get better? I really want these two deleted from my life but I have to see them in school and the thought just hurts, this really sucks for my senior year :(
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (23 November 2010):
Hi there. Were you and your boyfriend going out for long before this happened?
It does seem that she was seeing him behind your back, and then you caught them together, so she came over to apologise to you now that it's all out in the open. Like that was going to make amends for what she did.
You did the right thing breaking up with him, because it would have continued for sure. It was just going to be a matter of time I think.
You are naturally upset and angry by it, because he betrayed your trust. After finding out, it would have been very hard for you to trust him again - almost impossible.
There is no easy way to make getting over it, a faster process, it's going to take a little bit of time.
In the beginning, you are only going to remember the good times - which is natural.
Over the coming days and weeks, you will also think of the not so good times (and what happened), and this will make you angry and sad - all at the same time. Angry at him and her. There's nothing you can do about this, it's part of the grieving process.
Whenever you feel like crying - cry your heart out. It's one of the very best stress relievers there is. After a good cry, you will feel a lot lighter in your heart. The tight knot in your chest will then loosen and disappear for a while. You will still feel sad of course, but you will also feel a bit better after it, just the same. There's nothing quite like a good cry to help soothe the heart, believe me. Do it whenever you feel the need to.
Another good thing to do whenever you feel sad or stressed, is going for a nice long relaxing walk - about 30 minutes. Walking and in fact any kind of exercise for that matter, is excellent in dealing with feelings of depression and sadness. Also while walking, you will find it very peaceful being out in the fresh air and with mother nature, and your thoughts will come and go. It's really therapeutic and great for the mind. You will also feel very relaxed after, and it will help you to sleep well at night.
Don't let your health suffer by skipping meals or eating junk food. Eat well balanced meals, drink plenty of water (1 and a half to 2 litres per day - about 6-8 glasses). Exercise regularly (walking is perfect), whenever you feel stressed or sad - it really does help. Cry whenever you need to.
Try to have a positive attitude, no matter how bad things seem at the moment.
Remember, as one door closes another door opens.
Live life with hope in your heart knowing that things WILL get better.
Don't give up.
Whatever you do, don't try to get into another relationship right away - that's a really bad move. Give yourself some time to grieve first, it's necessary. It's part of the healing process.
And as for seeing your ex boyfriend and this ex friend at school each day, if you see them a little distance in front of you, turn around and either walk the other way, or walk over to your locker and pretend you are busy getting something out of there - just until they pass behind you.
In other words, you are not putting yourself in a position where you come face to face with them, and feel you have to say something - then more sadness and the awkwardness of not knowing what to say. Simply avoiding it altogether as much as you can, is the best advice I can give you.
Obviously, there are going to be some times you can't avoid, where you are either in the same class or you DO walk towards each other during some of your days, but in these instances, just simply say - "Hi" or "Hello" - and just keep on walking, don't stop and talk.
Even if either of them walks towards you on their way to class, and starts to say something, just say - "Sorry, I can't talk, I'm on my way to class and I'm almost late now" - or some such thing. Then just keep on walking. But don't be angry or upset, just be respectful and kind (and try to give a little smile) - as difficult as that will be. This empowers you greatly.
If they happen to be in the same class as you at some time during the day or the week, make sure you don't sit anywhere near either of them. Then there's no possibility for conversation between you either way. Don't miss class, just don't put yourself in any uncomfortable situation.
The most important thing of all, is to know that you deserve better, and to keep your self-respect.
In future, refuse to ever be taken for granted or mistreated by anyone. Accept only the best for yourself in life, and nothing less.
All the very best, and take very good care of yourself.
A
female
reader, candus +, writes (23 November 2010):
 first off thats not your friend a friend wouldnt go behind your back and cheat with the person you loved it will take some time for you to get over this but you will but the thing with that is he is going to do the same thing to ur old friend so she better get ready for the same treatment you just keep your head up and dont worry you will be fine
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): well at least she told you about him and her she was a good friend for that and telling you in person however she didn't consider your feelings at all and went behind your back. she was not a good friend for that. she was a good friend but at the same time she wasnt. Its normal to feel like you want them both out of your life, I once felt the same way and was in a similuar situation with my current boyfriend. I say just move on but keep in mind it is not going to be easy. Just take it one day at a time and concentrate on you. Find things that make you happy and concentrate on those also about your future. what i discovered in life is that the people who treat you bad and screw you over are not the people you should waist your time on. You don't need a boy to make you happy. Besides you WILL find someone better. there is always someone right around the corner you just don't know it until you actually approach it.
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