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age
26-29,
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writes: My best friend is dating the one person I DETESTE and I'm cool with that but she keeps using the same excuse every time I ask her to go somewhere 'oh I'm ill' or 'I had a bad night's sleep' and really all she's doing is blowing me off so she can go and see him. And the annoying thing isn't that it's the one person I hate, it's that she does it every time. I've said that when we go out he can come and I won't make it awkward and I've done everything I can to make a truce with him, which he accepted but she still keeps blowing me off for him. (This has been going on for about a year now)My questions are why is she doing this, why can't she just tell me the truth? And my second question, what should I do about it? Any advice would be great, thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your comments, they have all been very useful :)
A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 If you recoil at the mere mention of this person's name, it is not surprising that your friend will take the path of least resistance and lie to you. This is also your friend saying to you that it is none of your business who she spends her time with. There is a lesser fear that you will try to sabotage their relationship so the less information you know the less of a problem you will be. I would suggest to you that you should approach your friend and discuss this matter. Reassure her that you value her friendship and, even though you detest the person she is with, that will not get in the way of you two being friends. Lastly be respectful of her decision to be with this person. It is none of your business afterall.
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A
female
reader, GingerLand +, writes (22 May 2011):
In my opinion, if she's treating you poorly then you should cut back on inviting her out. A real best friend would make time for you at least every now and then. If I were in your shoes I'd take a break from her, you deserve to be treated better than that especially by your best friend
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (21 May 2011):
I have a friend exactly like this. She is like 'oh I can't come out tonight my mum wants a family dinner'
We all know her mum and she would not ever want a family dinner!
Argh, these people are annoying
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): From my experience girls like this are insecure, always doing things to please their boyfriends, are completely emotionally dependant on them and this won't change for a long time, if ever.She's lying because if everytime it happened she basically said she wanted to spend yet more time with her boyfriend and couldn't be bothered to make time for you, I'm willing to bet you would have dumped her a lot sooner. This way she can justify it to you, herself and anyone who may ask. Bottom line is she isn't a good friend so either keep her as an acquaintance, meaning if you've got nothing better to do and she invites you out then go but don't go doing her any favours or acts of kindness or always being the one initiating contact. Or just drop her completely.Even if this current relationship ends she might come back to you for a while but you can almost guarantee that as soon as she has a new bf she'll be off again. You sound like you've made a real effort for her and her bf, she couldn't care less from the sounds of it. I wouldn't let yourself be used like that.
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