A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My bestfriend classifies loads of people as friends even barely knowing them, not really knowing anything about them, just speaking to them if they're there. My bestfriend also calls people family fairly easily. I'm like a sister to my bestfriend so it makes me feel undervalued (if that's the right word) or less important(?) if my bestfriend calls a lot of people good friends or even family when 99% wouldn't even be there for my bestfriend, it makes me wonder how much I can really mean to my bestfriend if other people get "high friend status" easily. It may sound petty and ridiculous, but it just upsets me a little bit like i actually care about my bestfriend and they don't. I don't bring it up because that wouldn't be fair but this just makes me fee like i make a lot of effort to be there and be a good friend, whereas other people get it for "free" and aren't really deserving of it. I'm not really sure what my question is, but it doesn't seem fair?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 It seems like it's an unilateral best friendship- from your side only. I think that you need to accept that friendship in general, and YOUR friendship, does not mean the same to each of you. Either you can be Ok with that, and get your emotional needs fulfilled anyway, or you need to change type of friends , more aligned to your values.
Many people, particularly in your age range, have a more superficial , more " social " , less intimate sense and definition of friendship. For them, a friend is basically anybody whom you have fun with, or hang out with, or talk to sort of regularly - at times, even just on Facebook !.
Some change with age , and some ...stay the same all their life. If for you friendship means something deeper , your friend may not be the right bestfriend for you. If you keep asking from people more than what they can give, you'll inevitable end up feeling disappointed , hurt, even used.
So either you decide this is not a problem and you'll take your " bestfriend " for what he/she is and what he / she can give ( not much ..) , or you decide it IS a problem and find another bestfriend who is more on your same page as values.
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