A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok i will try and shorten this down as much as possible.about a year ago i split up with my partner ( the father of my child) and since then it has been one thing after an another.i have recently asked my ex not to bother coming to see my daughter who is 4 as he was repeadadly letting her down, not turning up, turning up drunk not supporting her, never phone etc etc. he never really fought this. but the problem is my best friend has fell out with me ( not related to my daughter not seeing her father) and after what she has done i will never speak to her again, but she has become best friends with my ex and his new girlfriend!even though she done nothing but bad mouth them. now obviosly this has really hurt me. im devestated infact.but the problem is another one of my friends ( who i work with) has kinda taken there side. it is making my work unbearable. i feel as if everyone has turned against me.my ex repeadly cheated on me, verbaly abused me and left me and our daughter with no food. i had to beg my family for money.even though my friends told me to leave him which i did, when it came to it they have all turned theyre back on me when i have needed them most!im devastated. i feel i have no one and theyre no way out of this! i dotn know what to do. i miss my best friend terribly and just want to talk to her, but i feel so betrayed by her and the things she has said about me.i cant understand why everone is so 2faced please if someone can give me advice that would be amazing. thanks
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best friend, cheated on me, drunk, I work with, money, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I know what it feels like to be betrayed and feel like the whole world is against you. It is an aweful feeling. I am going through something similar with some very good friends at work, and I am about to end my career over it because it hurts so much, and everyday, it feels like it is getting worse. I miss my best friend too, but I know now that he was never really a friend for him to have done such a thing to me. I am very lonely and heartbroken. As far as your ex is concerned, he has to support your daughter financially, but he has no right to hurt your daughter and betray her, so you must protect her from him, but do not put her in the middle because the issues are between you and your ex. Your daughter is innocent. As for your best friend, it is typical for the betrayer to befriend your enemy because she was probably jealous of you the whole time. I know what that's like. One of the girls I work with is responsible for the breakup of me and my best friend. She has practically taken over my life. She has taken my best girlfriend, my best guy friend, and my whole group that I worked with because I transferred because it was so painful, and then she has the nerve to ask me to lunch like everything is fine. The question is how much more will I let her take from me, or in your case, how much more will you let your so called friend take from you. This whole experience has taught me that people, especially other women, are very catty and jealous, and some women are so insecure about themselves, and they don't know how to create a life or make friends or find men, so they take whatever is in front of them even if it means stealing someone else's life. Good luck! I know it hurts a lot. Kill tehm both with kindness and cry in silence. Do not let them see you in pain.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Lets look at this from actual truth. Now for me, that's the only way to live. First of all, take him to court to secure payment for your child. With some, that's the only way to get funds children need.
Your ex-best friend. It's okay to miss someone. The betrayal. Did she betray you or did she make a choice that you're having trouble agreeing with? Even though you don't agree with what she's doing, she still has the right to make that choice.
There is only one person you have control over and receive the benefit or detriment of choice is you. You need to start focusing on you. Even when the world seems as if it's crashing, or during the good times, you'll always have you.
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A
male
reader, lovinit +, writes (23 March 2008):
this opinion is coming from an 18 yr old with a bachelors degree and is currently in medical school to become a cardiac surgeon.. :) ( single but i know a lot.) so here we go!
oh thats so dam*n messed up!!! ( not just neglecting to take care of his daughter but then cheated on you!) i will never understand how some men could let down their child. i for one like children because its soo easy to make them happy. i found out that its the simple things like playing with them, being on time, etc that a child needs in their lives ( i don't have children but i have 2 cousins boy and girl 3 and 5 and they think the world of me when i pick them up and play with them).
i haven't had much experience with 2faced people but what i do know is that sometimes you have to pretend like you need help at times to find out if your friend is or is not 2faced. thats the trick i played with a couple of my friends and it ever fails for me.
jeez, if i had some big money and if you lived in the united states i would actually fly you over here and allow you to move into my house to get back on your feet. i don't make much money after playing off tuition but what i can do is send some money to you for a while until you get back on your feet.
speaking of money, tell him to pay child support since he obviously isn't doing a good job at supporting the child. to get back on your feet you have to get a job which right now im sure you have trouble getting to work with a child. i suggest asking your mother or someone very close to you ifthey could take care of the child while you work to provide food and shelter. the first thing you should do is get child support ( food stamps or all the aid you can get), im not sure how it works in the uk but in the us men must pay child support monthly or get locked up.
good luck to you. send me a personal message if you need additional help or have any questions.
let me know if this has helped you. i will be awaiting your reply :)
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