A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my bestfriend and i eventually became lovers after 10 long years of pure friendship.. however, our relationship as lovers did not even last a month.. i broke up with him on the 3rd week of our relationship because he was acting kinda cold on me.. worse, he was even sweeter when we were only friends.. and guess what, he agreed on the break-up without even batting his eyelashes for the reason that he and his ex-girlfriend were together again which really tore my heart into pieces.. it has been four months now.. but since then, i couldn't stop thinking about him.. i'm still bewildered and still couldn't find answers as to why he would just give up on me and on our relationship so easily.. until now, i am still longing for that peace of mind.. we have never talked and seen each other since the break-up.. our friendship was ruined and was bartered for nothing.. now, what am i gonna do?.. should i communicate with him and continue the friendship or should i just forget all about him for me to move on... pls tell me.. i really need some advice.. thanks..
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): I think he went out with you when he was in a rebound situation and possibly too close after splitting up with his last girlfriend. Have some pride and dignity and move on. Dont get in touch with him. If he hasnt the balls to talk things through with you then he isnt worth a breath. Just forget him and move on with your life - you deserve better and anyway why do you want her left overs????
take care
xx
A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Hello.
it is always sad when a partner leaves without telling you why they have decided to return to a former ex, it is such a shame that he is to much of a coward to put your mind at peace, after 10 years of friendship it was the least he could have done, he must have had this plan, worked out before he became involved with you, he could not have suddenly decided i am going back to my ex just like that, so that means he already knew what the next step was, i am sorry i dont want to upset you but am trying to show you how he pulled the wool over your eyes, this is not your fault, he is totally to blame for the situation that you have found your self to be in at present.
It is not in your interest to communicate with him after the betrayal he has shown you, to be honest if you do became friends again what is to stop him from doing this to you again in the future, friends do not do this kind of thing,to friends but it is a lot worse in your case because he also became your lover, you really need to get away from him, he will bare face lie to you to achieve his own ends, you do not want to go through this pain again,has i see it you should MOVE ON for your own sake, then when his ex kicks him out you will not be there for him to betray you again for your own sake dont be sucked into his lies.
hope this helps you.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 hey,
some people have a chance in a relationship after freindship and some people don't. the thing is that you should have talked about what might happen if you broke up before you started going out but that something happened and there is nothing to do about it. you both took the risk and if you think that he loves you very much (as a freind) then i see that there is a reason not to talk to him i wish you great luck, and keep us updated to what happens .
take care .. bye
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 You crossed the boundaries. Sometimes friends make great boyfriends and girlfriends, other times they do not. You both took the risk with your friendship. This outcome is what sometimes happens when you do that. Did you redefine your boundaries when you were with him as lovers? Sometimes one wants a relationship, and the other one still believes they are friends that just have some fun until they find someone else.
I would say, it wouldn't hurt talking to him. You should at lease see what he's thinking, then you can come to terms with the friendship and if it continues or not.
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