A
female
age
30-35,
*napplesxox
writes:hii am in love. he is my best friends old boyfriend. they borke up two weeks ago. i always liked him but now hes available i really want him. should i go for it? how can i tell if he is interested? HELP !
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female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 ok i think you should wait until she heals up until then but i dont think you should ask her permission i mean you should ask if shes ok with it i mean the reason i think permisson is the word cuz he is not like an item he is a living thing who has a choice as well wel thats all i have to say hope dis helps
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): How do you know your best friend doesn't want to get back with her ex? If you had just broken up with your boyfriend, and were hoping to get back with him, and the girl you thought was your best friend, all of a sudden snatched him out from under you, how would you feel? Just remember that what goes around, comes around.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (12 August 2008):
 I was in this same situation, but I really wish for you to think this through.
You have to really consider your feelings for this guy. You're in the 13-15 age gap and no offense, but most kids your age don't know crap about being "in love" and in fact, they use that word too losely. But I wrote "most", so you may be the other kidn of kids who are mature enough to realize what love really is.
The reason why you have to make sure your feelings for him are true is because you might lose your best friend in the process. For some girls, it doesn't matter how long they have been separated from their ex, it will still hurt them see them dating again. And 2 weeks would be just TOO SOON as your best friend may have not gotten over her relationship.
Also, try to see if this guy feels the same way for you as you feel for him. Like some people have stated before, this guy might just leave you and you would ave lost a friend for a guy who didn't stay with you in the end.
This is risquy business you're trying to play with and most people don't know how to handle it properly, so I just suggest you to think this over.
If your feelings for this guy are real and true (and please be honest with your answer. You may feel attracted but do you really love him?) and if they end up being true and his feelings for you are true as well, then I'd say go for it but be aware that you might just lose your best friend in the process.
Assuming the above happens, also, before going out with him, talk to your best friend about you wanting to date her ex. BUT WAIT FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF MONTHS before dating him. Maybe 4 months forward her feelings for him will not be as strong and she will accept your relationship with him. And oh, if you can't wait that long, then really consider your feelings for him.
As previously stated, I said I was in a similar situation. One of my closest friends (not a BFF) dated my current boyfriend for a while. They broke up but I started dating him about 5 months after their break up. I had feelings for him since I met him and I was relunctant to go out with him because he was the ex of a dear friend. I'm happy for my decision of being with him even though our friendship got destroyed. In the end, she wasn't the good friend I thought. I found out by other people that she talked bad behind my back and that it was her (along with another girl I thought was my close friend too) that started a very nasty rumor about me. All before I dated her ex.
But I was one of the lucky ones where the guy felt strongly about me as i did for him.
So think about all of this. Think of your feelings for him and if they're strong enough to risk your friendship. Good luck and I hope everything turns for the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): go for it and give him all you got....:)
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A
female
reader, Laura-x  +, writes (11 August 2008):
NO!! wait till she moves on and ask her permission, dont lose a friend over a guy trust me the hate and the arguin will last forever. x
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (11 August 2008):
 don't do it!
2 weeks is too soon, if ever. if your best friend is really your best friend, i say wait until she has to strain her memory to remember this guy. if you still want to go through with it, MAKE SURE YOU ASK. it won't really do anything since even if she says it is okay, it will bother her to some extent. but at least she will have a heads up and know what is going on. after dating someone there is almost always some sort of connection there that needs time to completely disappear. of course this depends on how long they were together but...
honestly i can't believe you want to date your best friend's ex boyfriend! where i come from that is a big no-no.
i don't know all of the circumstances, but when in doubt about a best friend's ex, don't do it. too much drama comes around, maybe not on the surface, but it does. trust me.
there are plenty of other guys out there!!!
good luck!
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Actually, the first question you should be asking is "If I start dating my best friend's ex-boyfriend, will she still be my best friend?" -- what I'm saying here is that you're treading on dangerous ground here. If your friendship doesn't matter to you, then go for it, but if it does matter to you, I'd really suggest you ask your friend if she minds first. Two weeks is a short amount of time, so you might be trying to do all this a little fast.
My advise is chat with your friend first and see how she feels about it (if you care about your friendship). If she says she's OK with it, then go for it and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Please slow down! When feelings are running this high we can forget about everyone but ourselves, which is a big mistake. This is your best-friend's ex-boyfriend and they have only been separated for two weeks.
If you jump in now you stand to a) lose your best friend and b) start a relationship with someone who hasn't got over their last. Disastrous on both counts!
How about being a best-friend back and offering some support? In time, perhaps you and the ex might have something but it would be very inappropriate of you to suggest it at the moment and you would certainly need to talk it over with your friend first out of respect for her feelings.
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A
female
reader, beauty344 +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Are u crazy lose A bestfriend for some guy that might leave you in A BLINK OF EYE think it over girlfriend
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