A
female
age
41-50,
*hiannon3
writes:I have been with my baby Daddy boyfriend for almost two years. I have stayed with him when he was unemployed for 6 months, quit jobs and been broke. I have worked full time even when I was pregnant. We split up for two weeks because I finally stood up to him and told him no over the baby. He is always trying to tell me what to do with her. Even tho we don’t live together and he pays no child support or buys anything for her. We got back together but he still says that he gets “stressed out” in his house when my kids are there. My oldest daughter is 8. She is outgoing and hyper. His oldest daughter is 6 and the opposite. She is jealous of the baby and a very moist little kid. She screams in every one’s face and hits. He excuse her behavior. He favors her to everyone else. He says his kids are better than mine. That I am a weak parent. I don’t yell and scream or call them names. But he does to his. He recently stared telling me I’m too skinny even tho he told me to lose all the baby weight. He tells me he is hateful because I’m stupid sometimes. I’m starting to doubt myself in every way. I have done every thing he wants but he won’t do much for me. He knows I do what he wants. He says he loves me. He has made promises about the future. Still nothing is happening. Am I just a love sick fool? Btw he is very over weight. I say nothing to him. We also both have sons. He says my son is a mess because I coddle him because he is autistic. The criticism hurts. But maybe he is right. What should I believe? I’m in my early 40’s and want a family. How do I make him completely happy?
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got back together, jealous, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 July 2019):
 Well done for having the strength to end it with him. Now have the strength and pride to STAY away.
I am seriously concerned for his poor daughter.
A
female
reader, Rhiannon3 +, writes (24 July 2019):
Rhiannon3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere is an update. After reading replies & considering everything that I have been through I ended it. I have not heard from him since.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 July 2019):
Wow! What is it that made you choose this no-hoper to pin all your hopes and dreams on? What does he bring to your relationship? I can't spot ANYTHING good in your post for which HE is responsible - with the one tiny exception of being a sperm donor (and I have huge reservations about that being a good thing).
He is not a father to your baby in the true sense of the word as he does not even help you financially. He makes you feel insecure about yourself. He criticizes you for trying to bring up your kids in a kind humane way. Do you honestly wonder why his daughter is the way she is if he (in your words) yells and screams at her and calls her names? Is that what you want for YOUR kids?
Wake up and see this monster for the waste of oxygen that he is and concentrate on your children. Families come in all shapes and sizes these days. They CERTAINLY don't need an aggressive critical man in them.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (23 July 2019):
Your first mistake is having what you call a baby daddy. That term says it all.
You do not have a husband or a boyfriend, or partner...You have a man who got you pregnant...nothing more. If that relationship was going anywhere, you would have had a husband, boyfriend, or partner by now...not a baby daddy.
The only thing stopping you from having a family...is you. Holding on to the wrong man.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 July 2019):
 You want a family.
You need security.
He has proven himself incapable of providing either.
I actually don't see any reason why your priority would be making him happy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2019):
 I get that you WANT a family, but do you really want to raise your children with a man who seems to care so little about them AND you?
In blended families I GET that people don't always agree 100% on already established parenting choices but AS a couple with 5 kids, if you can't find common ground in your parenting style/approach the KIDS suffer. ALL 5 of them. And you ALLOW this, so you can have a partner. Are you that desperate to have a man that you will let your kids suffer this asshat? Your kids are NOT going to be thanking you for staying with someone like this.
He says he loves you... OK... He makes promises he doesn't keep... OK. Do you see a pattern here? HE will SAY anything to soothe you but he doesn't GIVE a shit. LOOK at his ACTIONS and not just listen to the words. Do they match? NO. They don't. Her doesn't want to do things for you to make life easier yet YOU are expected to do whatever HE wants? To pull the ENTIRE financial load while pregnant too?
YOU can't make him happy. THAT is HIS job to find HIS bliss so to speak. Doing whatever he says isn't GOOD for you OR the kids. Nor will it make him "happy".
It sounds like an unhealthy and toxic relationship and I feel bad for your kids.
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