A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi - I have just moved countries to be with my boyfriend and I am just starting to get to know his estabished friends most of whom he knows through sport. He has been cagey about me meeting them, even though I was really looking forward to it, and said he doesn't want me to be shocked. At least half of them smoke weed or use a bong. This is illegal in the state we are in and he knows my view on that. Now I have met these people they seem ok but my boyfriend is not keen for me to be with them at parties and stuff and yet when I say anything negative he defends them saying "they're not bad people just because they're into that". I realise that but I can't really overcome in my mind that this is illegal and its not a comfortable position for me to be in. I'm also pretty surprised my boyfriend is so laid back about it because he works with mentally ill patients, some of which are like it due to drug mis-use. I feel very confused, compromised and concerned where this leaves me. I don't want to be unsociable but I can't help judging it. How should I play it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Full moon temptress1  +, writes (14 January 2010):
You don't mention anything about yourself.Do you work,study?Why not try meeting new people yourself.Maybe then his friends might not be such an issue to you,as you will have your own social scene.I'm not saying don't go out with your boyfrinds friends,but if all you have is your boyfriend,maybe thats all you have to think about.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (14 January 2010):
 Unless they are pressuring you or your b/f to partake in the illegal activities, I really don't see a problem. I wouldn't hang around they while they are in the act of smoking, but other than that I don't see why your b/f can't be friends with them.Good Luck!Jeff
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (14 January 2010):
 If they are not hurting anyone but themselves and treat others with decency, then who cares what others get up to.
Personally I feel there are a lot more social and family problems due to alcohol but that get's over looked coz you can buy it all over the place legally.
At the end of the day, I just don't let the government decide for me what I should take issue with when I have eyes to see for myself what the greater evil is.
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