A
female
age
36-40,
*eu2ful
writes:I need help.... I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. About 3 months ago he told me that he has another girl preggo. She's 28 and he's only 24. To make a long story short he says he loves me and wants to be with me. He know he messed up, he has asked for forgiveness etc. I'm messes up emotionally and I dont know wht to do? She calls and text 24/7 claims that she's hurting, but I hate it! I dont know I'm lost and I'm hurt emotionally. I need some advice?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (5 January 2011):
 You don't owe him support or anything else, nor should anything be talked through with him and the other girl. He cheated on you and got another girl pregnant, betrayed and destroyed your trust, and now expects you to forgive him and stay with him. By not breaking up you're teaching him his actions have no consequences, which means he'll cheat again knowing you're not going to leave him. Don't let yourself become a doormat, end it and find someone else.
A
female
reader, Beu2ful +, writes (5 January 2011):
Beu2ful is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate the advice :-) and I'm glad I've found this website. Well it is a very hard situation because it's not easy letting go and walking away if you really love someone. I've prayed , fast , and etc but I still don't know what to do. I know it takes time so I'm just going day by day now because it is a new year. What really makes the situation really hard is the fact he keeps coming to me that's the hard part. He's trying so hard to show me that he wants to be with him, keeping in touch ( Checking in / checking out) and etc. I really want to sit down and 3 of us have c I will keep you updated and thanks again for the advice.
p.s. right now I'm trying to be that support system for him because he keep saying he wants me by his side and he can't do it alone ( like I help him make baby)
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (5 January 2011):
Drop him and move on with your life. Staying him will only make you feel worse, because you'll never be able to fully trust him again after this. You'll torture yourself by wondering if he's cheating on you again whenever he goes out or talks to another woman. It's not worth it.
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A
female
reader, That Fragile Capricorn +, writes (5 January 2011):
 my advice, honestly, is to leave him. what he did will tear you apart, and when that baby comes into this world, it is only a symbol of what he did. and it will eat at you and eat at you. and the fact that he did this after five years with you? i'm just, i'm really sorry. i know it's really hard, and you're reeeally struggling because you probably love him very much and you feel betrayed and hurt and confused, and initially, leaving him will be extremely painful, but in the end, you'll end up with a better man, someone that treats you like you deserve. he may be saying he's sorry but the damage he's done, it's just something you can't take back. i'm so sorry this happened to you, i really hope in the end you'll be okay. but if yu really think you can find a way to work through this pain, then all my prayers and hopes go to you. i really hope it works out.
power to you.
good luck hun3
xoxo
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (5 January 2011):
 I'm so sorry sweetie. I know you're hurting. I think if there is any good news here is that the ball is in your court. You can decide what you want. I'm guessing he was cheating on you at the time. My advice is to move on. I was in a similar situation and it took awhile. I did go to my doctor and she put me on antidepressants and gave me anxiety pills. In my situation I was dating my bf of 5 years and was pregnant and he was seeing another woman. I had to find strength, and I was lost for a while. It is almost like everything just stopped. Time stood still, and yet I would wake up on Friday and think it was still Monday.
I realized that my parents put so much time and energy into helping me become an amazing woman, accomplished and beautiful, strong, and kind-hearted that I didn't want to disappoint them by staying with a man (who was still telling me he loves me) who didn't respect me. And I have to say, its difficult. But I am dating an amazing R&B performer who plays with people such as Anita Baker and other musicians, and the guy I started seeing before my current bf is an NFL player. These guys helped me feel as if I mattered again. I still get mad and have times where I still asked "What did I do wrong" but I will tell you, I did nothing wrong and neither did you.
If it were me, I wouldn't get back into that relationship. He is going to have to talk to the woman for the rest of his life because of the baby. I would say he needs to go to counseling before he comes back to you, he needs to sort things out and I think you will find that once you give a little space, you will find more answers. Sometimes if I have a problem (and this may sound weird) but if a friend had the same problem and came to you, how would you advise them? Hope this helps. Please keep me updated. Wish you nothing but love and luck!
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