A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Married guy flirts with me at work. I am married too. He tells me he can't get me out of his head and that he has erotic dreams about me. He calls me, emails me and text me all the time. I would leave for him in a minute if kids weren't involved. We have never been physical although we both fantacize about it. We are not physical cheaters but I realize we are cheating emotionally. Here is the question. Today he told me he would end it if it affected my family but did not mention his. He also said our relationship is based on friendship and tha he is just trying to make me a better wife. He then texted me telling me I was hot and he is thinking about me and what he would like to do wit me. Please help me. This guy believe it or not is extremely intelligent. Is he feeling guilty, trying to get rid of me or just plain crazy
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male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (5 January 2011):
he is not feeling guilty or hesitating atall
he told you that he deosnt want to affect your family
because he wanted to releif you from any pressure he'd might put you in and he wants you to react the way you realy feel
imho and from my personal experience in emotional affairs
they are so so painfull because both participants know that it is not very easy to get into a real relationship
with each other and the feeling of helplessness in these sort of affairs is so distructuve
i dont know what to tell you
because i my self suffered long from an emotional affair before making a brave dicision and breaking up with tears from the one i loved with all my heart and soul to save our marriages and to feel inner peace
Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): You need to cut ties with this guy somehow as he presents many risks for you. You need to keep your interest in ur fmaily in line here. Change jobs. Request a job relocation. Big potential recipe for disaster here in both your lives. Do whatever you have to do to get this guy out of your head cause Ill tell you right now, your emotions will get you in big trouble if u proceed.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (5 January 2011):
 He's trying to get into your pants and doesn't give a shit about who it affects. I wouldn't take his question about your family as anything other than fake sympathy in an attempt to be seen in a better light. I've heard of people saying crazy things, but his comment about making you a better wife really takes the cake.
As for you, there are bigger things to be concerned with. Ruining your family life for this guy is definitely not worth it, grow up and get a divorce if you're really that unhappy in your marriage. It'd be a lot better for your children than leaving their father to be another man's mistress.
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