A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I got married 7 months ago and because between my husband and I have lots of nieces and cousins we decided not to have bridesmaids as I would have ended up with 11! Which we couldn't afford to do. We didn't want to choose just a few of the children and leave the rest out. Also alot of our families live 2-4 hours away so it would have been a nightmare to get everyone fitted etc..So I decided to have my best friend of 14 years as maid of honour and my husband had his best man.Now everyone in the family understood our reasons and respected our decision expect my aunt (my mums sister)She kept hinting how her 2 daughters would love to be bridesmaid and I explained then that we werent having any but she didn't acknowledge I was being serious and just said "don't be silly, you have to have them."Then a few months later she emailed me asking if I had thought of any colour schemes for bridesmaids and once again I explained we weren't having any and she barely spoke to me for ages after and when she did she was off with me. I ignored it as I had alot to deal with organising the wedding.Now on my wedding day she dressed her 2 kids in ivory bridesmaid dresses!!! They looked ad though they were part of the wedding which was obviuosly what she was trying to achieve.My mum did speak to my aunt after the wedding about the dresses and my aunt disagreed that they looked like bridesmaids and said they were just normal dresses for children to wear to a wedding!Anyway I never spoke to her about it- as far as I'm concerened its now not important BUT she has continued to be nasty towards me. ...2 months ago she went to another wedding and then emailed me saying "it was the best wedding" she's been to in a while "the bride was stunning and was the most beautiful bride ever and every othe bride she has seen didn't compare etc.." She was basically hinting my wedding was rubbish and i looked ugly!She then emailed me recently about the Royal Wedding saying how that was a proper wedding with bridesmaids etc...I do reply back to her emails but I ignore her snide comments hoping she will stop going on but she hasn't after 7 months. I don't want to fall out with her or let on she has upset me as that will give her the upper hand which I won't allow. My mum says to ignore her and because they are close I want to respect her wishes.I would like some advice on what to reply back to her so she gets the hint to shut up.The only reason I can think she is behaving like this is because I was her bridesmaid 12 years ago so maybe she thinks I owe her?Thanks in advance x
View related questions:
best friend, cousin, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (27 May 2011):
 What a vindictive, stupid, thoughtless and immature woman! She sounds like a real piece of work! I know you want to be nice to her, but I wouldn't have the patience to tolerate her attitude...
I thought this might make you feel better in pretending that you have vented your frustrations at your Aunt in an email, so here is one I have written on your behalf to try and get some closure for you on your Wedding Day! (And I hope it brings a smile to your sweet face! x)
"Dear Aunt,
Drop the subject, my husband and I are by now well and truly sick of your pointless bitchy comments. It is getting to the point of bordering on petty psychological abuse. Real nice comming from a supposed-to-be loving family member Aunt.
Please remember that you ARE SERIOUSLY putting both my husband and myself down, so much so that I am now starting to have regrets that I even asked you to our wedding! I know that you and mum are close, so show a bit of respect please and drop your nasty pointless comments, as they are completely UNAPPRECIATED by either my husband or myself.
You seem to think that we are made of money, or do you just like being nasty to people? How do you think my other relatives would have felt if I had been forced to make a choice between their children and yours? I also DO NOT appreciate you making the girls turn up in WHITE BRIDAL outfits to my Wedding Day either. Despite what you said, you did INDEED get them dressed up in Bridal dresses.
I have put off having to even send this email to you in the hopes that you would have simply dropped your pointed comments, but it has been to no avail and I have now had ENOUGH. Please don't try and pretend that I am over reacting to your comments, if they weren't so bitchy I wouldn't be responding in this tone of voice. I am SORRY I was your bridesmaid all those years ago, but you didn't have to make the financial and emotional choices that my husband and I have had to make in regards to OUR special day."
I know it's a harsh email to send hypothetically, but you really DON'T deserve this tirade after your Wedding Day!
And I hope that you and your new husband are enjoying your new married life by the way, good luck for the future!
Yes there will be some fireworks later perhaps, as I can't see you turning a blind eye to this forever. But if you do find it hard to have to keep shutting up and you end up blowing your stack at her one day, feel validated, she deserves it for turning such a small matter that was none of her business into a big, huge, ugly, experience for you.
Or if you really are pissed off with her lack luster attitude, by all means, send her an email ..! x
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 Tell her that you no longer wish to discuss ANY wedding information with her and if she continues to DISRESPECT YOU that you will be forced to terminate your contact with her until such a time as she can comply with and respect your wishes and needs.
She's not treating you like an adult and she's being a childish bully.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 May 2011):
Block the cow and leave her in the past. Always remember that lousy people in your life are always expendable. Your aunt is one of these people. I never entertain these pointless kinds of people in my life. I just move on from them. It's so much easier, and means I do know who I can count on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (26 May 2011):
 HI
Your aunt sounds like a jealous, childish women. The next time she emails you anything like that again, IGNORE her, dont even bother to reply. So what if you didn't have bridesmaids!! it's not law, it's your choice, and I can see why you didn't want to have to choose with so many to choose from. If your aunt cant see that, then she seriously needs to grow up. Dont let her continue to wind you up and upset you over this, she is not worth it. One day she will see just how immature she behaved, and when she does she will feel awful and sily, but my guess is she never will get over the ( my girls should have been bridesmaids) attitude.
xx
...............................
|
