A
female
age
30-35,
*ilRawrie
writes:I've liked this lad for about 3 weeks and he's recently become single. He asked for my number and text me asking if I liked him more than a mate and I told him I did. He told me he liked me more than a mate, we kissed and later decided to start going out. My aunt and uncle found out and don't want us seeing each other. I’ve been told not to answer his texts or his calls. I went into town with him and a few mates later that same day and e was really sweet. We're still seeing each other and only my cousin and her boyfriend know. My aunt and uncle reckon he's trouble because he has had a few police chases and my uncle reckons he is only after on thing. I know they are only trying to protect me but I think that I should find out for myself what he's like and I should be able to make my own mistakes and learn from them. If they think he is that bad then why do they allow him into their house and treat him like their own son. There is also another lad who has been going round saying he'sgoing out with me I've only met him a few times and I don't know what to do about any of it. It's getting me so depressed because when the first lad comes around I can't even talk to him and I don't think its fair. What should I do??
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female
reader, LilRawrie +, writes (26 March 2008):
LilRawrie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe Turned 16 In February I Turn 16 In April...He Is Actually A Really Nice Lad And f They Hate Him That Much Then Why Dont They Tell Him To Stop Going Round.
Thanks For Any Useful Advice x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Well that depends on how old he is. I have to say it my parents warned me off someone when I was 16,I threw the 'want to make my own mistakes' in their faces and had to live with heart ache for 6 years once it ended. I would say be careful and take on board why they are saying it, there is no self benifit for them, they dont want to see you unhappy and they are not doing it to spite you. So think wisely. x
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (26 March 2008):
One question - how old is this lad? It may be that your respective ages put other things into consideration as well. Also while it is admirable that you want to learn from your own mistakes I do not advise this as a rule. Certainly you should learn from any mistakes you make but only a fool would insist on making them all themselves and not learning from others. You do not strike me as a fool because you have come here to ask.
At the end of the day, if we all had to learn from our own mistakes then we might as well be evicted from home while still small children. Families are there to be our own built in support group. Usually they love us and do not want us to come to harm. If I was you I would think very very carefully about what your relatives have said and try to understand why. Making your own decisions does not mean ignoring what other say. In fact the best decisions are made when we consider the advice and recommendations (okay with your Uncle and Aunt it is more than advice but you still get to choose whether to obey or not) of interested people and people who are concerned for us, and then in the light of the experience we have gained from past mistakes, we make our decision.
Consider it carefully. As for the other one, he sounds like someone you should keep away from because he can damage your reputation even without you making a mistake.
You are young. There is nothing in the rule book of youth that says you need to do anything or go out with any one boy at this stage. Just enjoy being young and full of life. There is plenty of time to find a good lad in the future when both you and he can enjoy each other's company with less concern. Do not be in a hurry to grow up. It will happen all too soon and is not always what you expect.
Good luck, and keep asking questions.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Do what you think is right.
No one should control you except your parents if you are below 18.
If they give good advise, accept them and if bad advise,
just chuck them away.
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