A
male
age
41-50,
*olarkite
writes:My ex-girlfriend who I am still friends calls me and asks me for advice about difficult issues at night right as I am preparing to go to bed. For instance, she was telling me a story about a bad doctor she has, that she needs to change. She did this during our relationship too. While I love giving advice (dearcupid :) ), it's really stressful to do while you are trying to wind down and get ready for bed. I guess it's easy enough not to take her calls, but what I'm wondering is why does she do this? I've asked her many times to not talk about difficult things as I am going to bed, but she's often tries anyway, ironically after I do something nice for her in the daytime.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 At that hour she feels lonely and needed to talk to some one
and you are always available.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Grow some balls! Tell her again and this time mean it!
The next time she calls, ask her if this is an emergency, if not then tell her to hold that thought and to call you in the morning. Or, just don't answer her call. Do you have caller ID? If not, I would not change my phone number just because of her, but I would tell her that I'm getting ready for bed and she must call either at an earlier time or in the morning. Get some balls, stand up and be a man!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Like Waterloo says, you could just let the phone ring - or unplug it at 10pm, that way it won't ring in the first place. Alternatively just simply tell her you can't deal with it just now, and to call tomorrow at 7pm. Stand up for yourself and stop trying to be so nice. She's being inconsiderate and is probably well aware of the fact.
My ex used to do the talking to me thing just as I was dropping off to sleep, then 20 minutes later she'd do it again. That REALLY pissed me off. I suppose it was one of the many reasons I divorced her!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Dont answer your phone! Change your phone number. If you have asked her not to do this and still she does it then make a point of not answering. I used to get this from my ex and that is what i did. If i get something in my head on a night, i just cannot sleep. Be strong and stop pandering to her.
take care
xx
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