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age
30-35,
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writes: My sister (who's 5) lives with me and my girlfriend (for personal reasons.) She keeps asking me sexual questions. Once she ask me what a blow job was. I told her that when its someone get paid to blow on stuff. She's way too young to know about this kind of stuff. My girlfriend thinks I should give the "talk" with her to get her to shut up. I mean it might scar her for life, I mean if she knew the thinks I do with my girlfriend when she isn't around it could mess her up. What should I do
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female
reader, easternkygirl  +, writes (26 October 2008):
i have 2 daughters of my own, one is 6 and the other is 3. so i know exactly your situation because my 6 yr old who was 5 at the time came home asking about sexual questions and i totally thought she was too young too understand or to be told about the birds and the bees. so i kept hush hush and told her not to talk about it anymore cuz i was afaid it would take away her innocence of being a little girl. then i talked to my mom whom i'm very close to, and she gave me some very good advice. she said "if you don't tell her about it (i don't mean going into detail either) then the kids at school ARE going to tell her. and their version of it is going to probably be FRIGHTENING and NOT what u want her to hear. and the most important thing is : if she don't hear it from you first , then she's going to think (in 5 yr old mind) hey, my friends know more than my brother does because he's never told me this stuff and she will no longer trust what you say cuz you didn't tell her first. BE THE FIRST TO TELL HER!!
so what i did personally with my own daughter, i felt like i should only tell her certain things. this is what i told her.
(1) there are private places that no one should look at or touch and that you should not touch theirs either. only mommy and the doctor should see those private places. i also made sure to tell her that there are mean people who may try to touch you there or may even try to make her put her mouth on their private places, because i did want to make sure and keep her safe(why i told her this, but this is ALL i told her bout that situation *blowjob*, cuz my mom said what if a little boy at school tries to make her do something like that, then she'll know its very wrong, because YOU told her before it happened. TRUST THING, as i mentioned before.
sure, she will have lots of questions as my daughter did, but anything i didn't want her to know, i told her she was too young right now to understand these grownup things and that i would tell her about them when she gets older, and that mommy is telling her everything she needs to know at 5 yrs old, or thats something little girls ain't suppose to know about or talk about right now.
(2) i also told her that *sex*, (cuz she heard that from her friends and had also heard the term *rape*, i told her that sex was something that people do when they are married to each other or when they are grown up and that it is for having babies(i know , but that is ALL a 5 yr old needs to know about it!)
I'm sorry this is so long. but i really hope this will help you with talking to your sister, it may not be how you want to handle it, but i'm just giving you advice from my own situation and what i did and said to my little girl :-)
Good Luck and best wishes and let me know how everything turns out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): I think it is important that you try to find out where she got the the words from. As more info and or words etc might come from there. You need to follow that up if it from school or what ever. If you wish, once you know, you can give us an update and maybe then we can help you with advice.
I think you should tell her that it is an adult activity and that you will explain it to her when she is a little older, but until then she should not talk about it, as it is not a game for kids.
Raising children is an ongoing learning process. Like Anne Wilson Schaef said: "we don't make mistakes. We just have learnings".
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 October 2008):
They are talking about bringing in sex education over here from as young as 7 now.
I agree with the other poster that you need to ask her where she heard the term blow job. Either she has access to porn channels in her room, or you and your girlfriend need to be more careful what you talk about round the house, or you need to go into school and ask her teacher if there is someone bringing phrases like this into class as there will only be more to come if there is.
I would not tell her about sex yet, but I think you should be careful to tell her that a blow job is a rude word, or she'll start telling her granny that she wants to get a blowjob when she grows up. Not cool. Especially for you.
Just fob her off and tell her it's a very rude word as the job of blowing on things is not very nice as you get so tired and dizzy. Tell her she will get in trouble for saying it.
There's probably some boys at school that know it means something naughty so are saying it just because it's a secret naughty word - like boob or fanny.
You could start to explain basic stuff like how mummys and daddys and you and your girlfriend love each other and so you kiss and hug and share a bed because you do grown up kissing. If you then give a big kiss to your girlfriend to demonstrate then she will probably find that incredibly disgusting and run off to watch tv and forget about it.
Any more than that, she can wait a few more years for as she will just not understand, and will go into school and talk about it and there will be a lot of pissed off parents coming in asking why their kids are asking about all the same stuff.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, cloudnine-andbeyond +, writes (26 October 2008):
 first of all you need to question how she knows there is such a thing as a blow job. i didnt know that word until much older. i'm not saying that its you and your girlfriends fault. i'm not sure at what age kids go to school or play group in canada but maybe you could talk to her teacher and ask if they have heard any of the other kids bringing up words like this. i think your right in saying it could affect her if she knew. maybe you could tell her its adult stuff and you will tell her when shes older but at this moment she doesnt need to worry or think about it, she should just be herself. i hope i have helped. good luckxx
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