| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi! I ask to get some opinions. I study maths and have three female fellow students I used to learn with for the past two years. My girlfriend of just over two years studies history at the same university. She knows this friend. And all of those three female friends are in a stable relationship. Their boyfriends all are at different courses at university or already working.My fellow students are now planing to go on holiday abroad to a country we have never been before. This would be for a fortnight. It was their suggestion to go just the four of us (this being the four of us studying in the same course and learning together for the last two years). I am planning to go with them. Also because these are my fellow students I spent a lot of time with them because we are in the same course and do our homework together. I think this would be a nice possibility to spend some time with them in another context. My girlfriend has nothing to worry about and I wouldn't share a bedroom with any of these friends. For me this is no problem. But I have the feeling my girlfriend seems not to be happy about it. What do you think?
View related questions:
on holiday, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 After reading your response I have a new suggestion for you:
Do NOT go on the trip, and use that money to take your gf out for a weekend cottage trip just the two of you for her birthday.
That is assuming your gf is more of a priority than this trip.
I respect your decision to cap your sexual acitivites, but I also think it has made you blind to what is possible on a trip like the one you are thinking of going on. People are the way the are, and not the way you would "want" them to be.
Just a question: Do these 3 girls suspect you are gay by any chance? Do their bfs? Are they of the same religious beleifs as you?
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Think about this... your girlfriend is going on a holiday with 3 other male friends.. who are all in a relationship.. you arnt allowed to go... take your girlfriend with you or foget it and prepare for the worst with her.. sorry to be harsh but you cant seem to see what the big deal is...
...............................
A
female
reader, Dr. Surgel  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 You have to be kidding?? Why do you think your 3 female friends don't want your girlfriend to go? Or do you really not want her to go?.For your girlfriend's sake, I would go on the trip with the three jealous "study-friends" so that your girlfriend will break up with you and she can then start going out with someone who wants to be with her.Easy!Dr. Surgel
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): Thanks for your advice. I may have to say, that this is not at all about trust. There is a lot of trust between us. There will nothing happen. We are both regiligous and I will only lose my virginity to my wife, once I'm married - and she really could be the one. I wouldn't mind her going on holiday with her male fellow students or male friends she used to have for a long time, even if they would not have a girlfriende by themselvs. So this is not about trust!Thing is more, I think she feels left out, because she can not join us. She was not invited to join us (because she is not studying with us) and anyway she is too busy in that time because of a cours she will go on that time. And she has no money to go on holiday. Especially not enoug to go abroud. So I think she is jealous of me going on holiday. And she feels left out. It's also her birthday in that time, I realised a little later.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Hi sweetness,
The other Aunt's gave you great advice... I'm just backing them up. Let me tell you, if my boyfriend said that he was going to go on an out-of-the-country holiday with three girls (who are going without their boyfriends), I wouldn't be too happy about it either. You know the phrase "whatever goes on in (____fill_in_vacation_spot_here___) stays in (___)"?
Yeah, well, there you go. How would you feel about things if the situation was reversed? If your girlfriend was going abroad for two weeks with three guys all traveling without their girlfriends?
All I can say is that something like this is going to take a LOT, a LOT of trust between the two of you. Things happen on trips...
You're treading on thin ice here. That's all I'm going to say.
Anyways, have fun on your trip. I think you should find a way to get your gilfriend to go along with you. Then all will be well and you can create some fun memories with your woman.
xxIndia
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (27 June 2007):
I think if your gf would have a problem with this, she would be right. People do things on vacation they would not do at home. You may not be tempted to try something...sober anyways...but you can not speak for any of them, nor can you be sure that the 4 of you would not party while there.
I think you should go on the trip, and see what happens...unless you are planning on marrying your gf. In that case, stay. If you do not go on this trip and you brake up with her in the next year or so, I think you will regret it.
-Frank B Kermit
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (27 June 2007):
 I can't stress this enough....Don't go. If your g/f cannot accompany you on this trip, don't do it. If you get the feeling she's not happy about it, trust me, she's not at all happy about it and you may be confident that you can travel with these women, but it's going to be a journey of hell for her, wondering and worrying the whole time you're gone. If you love this girl, pass on the trip and plan one that she can come along on. If this seems unreasonable, just put yourself in her shoes. Would you like her traveling with three or four other guys and leaving you behind? Don't think so. Alot can happen on a trip and seemingly platonic friendships can suddenly turn sexual when you are far from home and having such a good time together. It could cost you the relationship in the long run. Good long.
...............................
|
