A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i am married woman the mother of two kids,the man i am married is not the father of my kids , they are from relationship before my kids do not know there father we separate when one was one year and other was not yet born i do not see father any more but i know where he live i do not want the help for kids but i could like they know there and to have contract again , i mean to be familyfriend> Can I contact him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Have you told the kids that your husband is not there biological father? That is really important, it's not something you should spring on them when they are 18.
I told my son when he was young, and it has always been fine with it.
Before you contact him I would discuss it with your family and see if it is what they all want.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (30 December 2009):
There's no reason why you shouldn't contact him to see if he wants to be involved in the lives of his children. Be prepared for the fact that he may not want to be involved and if that's the case, you can't force the issue. If you haven't been in contact for a long time, you may need to make it clear to him that you're not just after money, baby-sitting or re-kindling your relationship.
I hope you have discussed the issue with your current husband. If he is now acting as a father to your kids, he may feel a little upset if you haven't talked about it.
You don't say how old your kids are but you may need to talk to them about it too and see how they feel. If they don't remember him, they may be wary of him at first.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 December 2009):
Of course you can contact him. They are his kids, and it would be nice for them to know him. But make sure you talk to him first before introducing them to him, in case he's really not bothered.
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