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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am concerned about my 16 year old son who has expressed the desire to marry his girlfriend soon.What problems will he face if he marries now?Thanks,Janet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006): Do not let this go ahead. Firstly they are still far to young and it is ridiculous, and secondly you still have full charge ove r your child. Tell him the pro's and con's to marriage, and tell him how ridiculous it sounds. Everything happens for a reason, and i hope everything turns out for the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): Anyone who wants to marry at age 16 is infatuated (not in love) with his partner. The feelings can often be so strong that one feels in love, but are misleading and cause one to want to do something as ridiculous as marrying at that age. If he really likes the girl, why not date her for a few years.
WARNING...marrying at 16 is the absolute WORST possible life decision ANYBODY could ever make!!! Live a little and learn a little more before you $%@( yourself over like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005): Hmm, I suppose he would face financial problems, unless they stayed either appart, or at one of the parents house. But when you turn 16, you legally can marry, with parents permission.I'm 16 myself, and have had the desire to have kids, but still dont, make sure that he's found the right girl. You might think she's right, but you can almost never tell.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): he will be havin sex 24/7 go on my son fair play 2 u
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2005): Well speaking from a recent experience as i am 17 years old and when i was 16 i was in the same position, what i found is that its better to be engaged for a while and me and my girlfriend are still engaged. We started out looking at wedding plans but after a little while me and my girlfriend discussed how it may be a bit of a big move!
I suggest that instead of talking to his friends about how to dissuade him it may be worth speaking to the girl. This may only be because she is the most likely person he is definatly going to listen to, as it involves her as well.
Don't obviously show that you don't want them to get married just ask her whether shes comfortable with it and if she has any doubts. (Best to do this when you son isn't around) If she is completly comfortable with it and has no doubts then i would let them do what they must.
If they are both sure then you can't really stop them and if it isn't to be then they will realise this in time...
Hope thats helped
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2005): i do think it's a good idea, you know starting a a new relationship, having a girl in his own house( if he has a house)i think everything will be great. If it's his decision, i think it's the right decision and there is nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2005): hi! im a student and i study law. your son would not technically face any problems, but he may be throwing his lfe away to soon! it is legal to get married with perental consent, but if he does it behind your back, it will still be valid. he will face prosecution. i hope i helped.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Thankfully his girlfriend isnt pregnant.
He won't be able to work overseas? How is this true?
Janet
PS. I live in the UK
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 September 2005):
 What's your son's rush? Has he explained why it's so important that he get married right now? Is his girl pregnant, for example? Does he want to move out of home, and think that getting married is a E-ticket to Adulthood?
Speaking from personal experience (I was married at 17 to my 26-year-old boyfriend), I urge you to try to dissuade him. Your son's personality is still evolving at age 16, and he will undoubtedly grow into a different person in the next few years. By the time he's 21 or 22, he will have a completely different focus to his life, and if he's also a husband and father by then, he'll feel restricted and resentful, neither of which will help his relationships.
Try to discuss why he feels so urgent about this and counter his arguments with logic. My personal experience is, "if you're destined to be linked together for all time, then what difference will three or four more years make?"
I suspect that your boy thinks that getting married will make or give him something he feels he's lacking right now. But he needs to be shown that settling down so young will cut him off from other opportunities he could otherwise be taking, like, for example accepting an overseas job, or enrolling interstate at university.
I know that in some places, age 16 is legal to marry (with parental consent), but even if he feels it's important, and even if he's about to be a dad, I'll still suggest that getting married to his girlfriend is a big mistake.
Please try to encourage him to explore all of his options in life before he settles down.
Bev
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A
female
reader, tatiana +, writes (21 September 2005):
Good thing is that you have to give him permission first. What choice will you make? I feel sorry for both of these kids if they through with this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): His girlfriend is 16.
My son is looking at wedding plans now - what do I do?
Janet
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A
reader, aunt april  +, writes (20 September 2005):
16 is very soon to marry and i see your concern as with all relationships there will be obstacles but sometimes you have to let your children make there own mistakes just give him the best advice you can try not to lecture him as he might see this as interfering.
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A
female
reader, Green_Eyez +, writes (20 September 2005):
Your son is far too young to be getting married - somthing I'm sure you already know or you wouldn't be posting here!! I think all you can do is gently try to dissuade your son from making, what will more than likely be, a huge mistake. You could try telling him that although you understand how deeply he feels for his girlfriend, why not just get engaged for a while and see how things go?
If he is still dead-set on getting married, perhaps you could arrange a meeting with her parents, but be careful not to give the impression you are trying to split them us as this will undoubtedly push them closer together.
Young love rarely lasts as people change so much as they mature into adults. You need to give your son the space to realise this on his own, but you also need to ensure he realises the huge commitment he would be making if he gets married. How about asking him about what he'll do about somewhere to live, a job, education, money? All these things matter and you need to make him realise that getting married isn't playtime.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, susu  +, writes (20 September 2005):
personally it isnt something i would want my own son to do at this age, but yet i cant help feeling isnt it better than him fooling around with her only? by the way if he is sixteen how old is she? isnt your son at school or studying?
maybe he needs to fill his time with something or something new. maybe you can get one of his friends to talk him out of it because at his age his friends are like his leaders and it matters to him what they think.
give it a try
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