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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I'm a 19-year-old girl and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months.We haven't had it for a while now - and said to me "have sex with another guy, but not me...."I don't know why he doesn't want it, he refuses to discuss it with me despite my best efforts to discuss this sensitive issue.He insists he isn't gay or bisexual, despite evidence of him looking at photos of men in their underwear on the Internet.What could possibly be wrong?? On the non-sexual side of our relationship, we are compatible in almost every way, its just this side I cant get my head round.Marie
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): I really think he is not sexually interested in you. It might hurt when you relize this, but you have to admit you need another guy to fit your sexual needs.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (7 September 2006):
He may well be having his own issues around sexuality. If you like the guy, talk to him about it but be prepared not to be his girlfriend afterwards. You may though end up with a good friend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): I would demand answers as to why he has said this. He obviously has his reasons and he should tell you what they are.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 He's obviously not interested in you, sexually. Any guy who tells his girlfriend to "have sex with another guy but not me" is either gay or just a friend.
If you want a male friend, keep him around, but if you want a lover, you're barking up the wrong tree. This guy has made it clear. Go find yourself a new lothario.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): Maybe you should consider that he has some sort of medical problem and could have a problem with intercourse. I think you should sit down with him and try and talk this through and if there is a reasonable explanation then try and resolve it. If however this is a fantasy of his you will need to decise whether this is something you want to do - if so it doesn't sound like a loving, fulfilling relationship to me. Most men don't want to share their partner and if he does ask yourself what the future will bring if you continue with this relationship. Don't degrade yourself to keep a very new man there are plenty more out their.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): Honey, if he persists on this and cannot nor is willing to be there to fulfill your physical/romantic needs...then he isn't what you want and need.
I say tell him how you find it odd and how it isn't what you thought an adult/healthy relationship is about.
Seriously, if he isn't going to meet all your needs; why stay?
Couple's counselling ASAP. He needs to talk and open up as that is what is EXPECTED in any relationship.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 There are a lot of guys who get off on this kind of thing, but just be firm with him if you are not willing to do this. I don't understand how someone can watch their partner with another person, even the thought of my fiancee with another guy would drive me insane.
He has probably fantasised about this before he was with you too. How long ago did he mention this?
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