A
female
age
36-40,
*anza
writes:me and my boyfriend are going out for 5 months he sometimes dont call me for 3 days and he does not tell me he loves me not even if i ask him,he only says im special to him last weekend he did not call should i call him? must i move on with my life rather than being with someone who doesn't tell me he loves me? please advise.thank you
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female
reader, sanza +, writes (23 February 2011):
sanza is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot good people for your advices THANK YOU SO MUCH !
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 here is the last little bit of my previous message (i pressed send too soon!)
: yes you may have to think about moving on. To be with a guy who is better attuned to you. Who wants what you want.
And who will want to tell you he loves you.
And will treat you with respect.
but before that happens assess what are the important character traits you want/need in a man you'd like to settle down with?
What values and attitudes define the man
you could respect and love?
Know who you are, value you and know that you don't have to accept second best.
And never be in any rush to get intimate with a guy. If you are really special to him, then he will wait. And love you all the more for being discerning.
Best wishes for a happy fututes.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 February 2011):
he is not behaving like a guy in love. More like a guy who finds you convenient.
Is he a very shy guy? Or does he lack confidence in himself? Or is he diffident and afraid to show his feelings?
If none of the above then is he just inconsiderate? Or immature? And lacking in empathy?
Either way he is not showing the signs that you are the special one he's been waiting for.
He does not even present as a guy who wants to share more nice moments with you, nor as a guy who wants to share his life with you.
Guys in love want to spend more time with you after 5 months, not less. In fact if it's the real thing, at five months, he should be completely enamoured with you. If a guy is really into you he would want to at least communicate every day. At least.
Where nothing is too much trouble to be
with you.
Have you met his family? If no, that's not good. A guy in love wants to show off his love to his nearest and dearest.
Has he shown you places he likes. Does he talk about his hopes and dreams?
If a man does not trust you enough to do those things then you are not (probably) as special as you might like to be to him.
It's your decision, but if you think he's still not enough, then yes, you may need to think about enjoying
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A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 You've been together for 5 months. I think you should both sit down and see where you guys are. You're obviously wanting a serious relationship - and thats fine - but you're not sure what he wants. You don't need to think 2 years down the road, but you do need to know what he wants right now. You have to get him to tell you where he stands, maybe he just doesn't want to move too fast. Whatever his reason is, you have to decide if you're willing to accept it. He also needs to know where you stand, and be willing to accept that. If you can both be happy with what you both want, and your relationship is working, then I would see no reason why you should split up. You need to talk to him about what he wants.
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