A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I guess I need some dating advice! I realize every person is different and I'm also a lady who dates ladies but I think anyone would have a good perspective on this. I've been dating women for several years but usually I was pursued by them or wasn't wondering how to proceed with someone I like.I met this girl on a dating website, we went out for drinks the other night and really hit it off. We were at the restaurant about 4 hours just talking and laughing, etc. I'd really love to see her again and she definitely seems interested but a little shy. As in, I'd have to ask her out, etc.My questions are: 1.) how long do I wait before asking her out again? (we already did the "Hey nice meeting you, I had a great time" text afterwards. and 2.) is it too forward to ask someone to come over on a 2nd date? Just to watch movies and have dinner, etc. I was mentioning this movie I really love (and own) and she mentioned how much she wanted to watch it. I figured we could watch it together.If not, what is a good idea for a 2nd date?Any thoughts are appreciated and thanks for your input :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I would wait a few dates before inviting this girl to your place. This allows you to get to know her better (it could be that she's not really what you are looking for). Another thing is that maybe she will feel offended if you invite her over too quickly, as if you think this a casual fling or maybe she would like to get to know you better before going to a more private space.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 February 2013):
 I agree with AuntyEm.
ask her out... that's fine... save the "come to my house to watch a movie" for a later time... it either looks like you want sex or you are friendzoning her...
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 I think the whole courtship thing is the same for everyone whether you date men or women. If you like her, ask her out on another date. Take things slowly, don't rush into sex and just get to know her.
I find most people reveal their true selves by the 3 month mark, so you should have a reasonable idea if things will go to the next level by then.
Personally I find inviting someone over to your house for a second date is a little suggestive (even though that may not be on your mind), perhaps meet at a bar or go for dinner again so you have time to talk.
You know us women are verbal and like to feel we are the only one, so lots of communication will make her feel special (advantage of woman on woman...not having to sit around and wait to be asked)
I know dating can be expensive and people dont always have the money for dinner or movies so it's tempting to invite someone over...but just hold your horses for a while and let things unfold gently...that way you can enjoy each moment and really decide if you two will become a pair :-)
Good luck, keep us posted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I am also a girl who dates girls :P
I will tell you what my experience was over the summer:
I met this amazing girl on a dating website as well and the chemistry was so amazing that we have been inseperable since the day we met. We couldn't help ourselves but to see each other again right away. I think if she is the shy one then just tell her that you had so much fun with her that you can't wait to have that much fun again. Ask her if she wants to hang out and again and maybe you could just ask her if she has any ideas about where she wants to go next!
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